Getting Kicked While You’re Down
It’s funny how just a few years ago I was in college trying to take my first steps towards my dream as an animator, then BOOM! No warning, a virus hits. Just like that all that hope I had at starting fresh and being the first in my family to go to college was just gone. Expectations of myself and of the man I aimed to become seemed to be shattered like glass under the boot of the world. From under that heavy boot I saw myself as a failure; no friends, no degree, no money, and least of all no hope. I’d just stood up for the first time in years shaking off the depressive episode of my life that stretched for years and my legs got swept from under me. Of course as with any protagonist, the backstory got worse.
After getting an apartment with my brother, the whole place floods. By the time anyone showed to fix the problem the water had leaked through our floors to the neighbors ceiling and essentially ruining any chance at getting comfortable. My room had a quarter of the wall removed, the floor was gone excluding my brother’s room, and all basic appliances were removed. You can imagine how having to get up and knock on your brother’s door to use the bathroom would put a dampener on things. We lasted for about a year with nowhere to go but not paying rent since the owner wasn’t fixing a thing. Covid’s going strong but I’m wishing for a better tomorrow so I’m just working while maintaining an image of functionality.
I reached some new form of lows with showers being optional, food following suit, and a sprinkle of insomnia with some other factors that by themselves are a separate story. However, I ended up learning in this void of post covid that there wasn’t gonna be a light unless I made one. Nobody was coming to help me, I lived in the city of apathetic thought so if I wanted better I ad to be better.
Now I’m not gonna pretend that now I’m working out 5 days a week, eating 3 meals a day, and surrounded by nothing but love. That’s not a reality I’m even capable of seeing for myself, but I’m eating a bit more, I got a turtle, and I’m finding confidence in myself. As the story goes though, to be continued…