A sophisticated, undercover jerk

People who have met me would probably not think that I’m a jerk, even though I’m not particularly a nice guy either. “Jerk” is a strong word to describe a person, I suppose. Truth is, I’m a jerk, an under-the-radar kind of jerk, I hide myself pretty well most of the time.

I’m VERY judgemental.

I’m 100% ethnically Chinese, was born and raised in China, yet the one race I can’t stand the most is Chinese, more specifically, mainland Chinese. Now, I fully understand that I can’t stereotype or try to generalize billions of people based on my own limited experiences, there are Chinese people out there that are not what I perceived them to be.

I struggle with my identity constantly, especially since I’m living abroad. From my experiences, being associated with the label “China guy” is far from pleasant. They are thought to be loud, selfish, rude, having no sense of fashion and they like to show off. Like I said, I’m sure that there are Chinese out there that are not loud, selfish, rude and all, but those are my usual impressions of my fellow countrymen.

It’s truly pathetic because it got to a point where if I heard someone speaking in Chinese with China accent, I thought “Great, another China guy”.

Judgemental is just one of my many hideous sides, I’m also cold-hearted, stuck-up, pretentious. Luckily, or should I say sadly? Nobody ever got to know me well enough to discover that jerk living inside me.

So yeah, this is the confession of an undercover jerk, thanks for reading, good day ahead.

Patrick Wu