How being “brutally honest” costs me a date

There’s this girl I once had a huge crush on, she was new to the country and I befriended her by chance. As I got to know her in person, her charming personality started to surface and soon I’m attracted to her like a magnet.

Being the awkward guy I am, I didn’t have the nerve to ask her out. So one fine evening, I casually asked her if she wanted to grab dinner with me somewhere nearby, as “friends” of course. She was new to the country, doesn’t have any friends, and was not getting along very well with her housemates. So there I was, calm and composed on the outside, happy and excited like a 7-year-old going on an excursion on the inside.

“This is NOT a date! Just be yourself!” I kept telling myself.

We went to a hawker centre nearby for dinner, sat down, and she started to ramble on about her problems with her housemates. I nodded once in a while, not knowing what to say, and to be honest, I zoned out a bit. It’s always hard for me to keep up a conversation with people because I’m naturally a introverted person. She noticed that she’s been doing most of the talking and I’m being unusually quiet, so she started to throw me some questions, in attempt to get me talking and get to know me better

My “date” did not go well, evidently.

I walked her home after dinner, while we were walking, she asked me:

“Do you think I’m too loud?”

I was not prepared for a straight-forward question like that, “Yeah, a bit” I said, awkwardly. To an introvert like me, every extroverted, outgoing person seems to be “loud”.

“What a dumb f*ck.” Looking back to that moment, this is my reaction to myself. (I apologize for the strong use of vulgar language here)

Things didn’t work out well between me and that charming girl in the end. I stopped keeping in touch with her after she switched to another school, and she clearly doesn’t want to keep in touch with me either.

I’ve always been a candid and blunt person, I spill the truth to people whenever they ask for it, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve offended people without knowing it. I figured no matter how you phrase it, the truth is always harsh to hear. A lot of the time, people who ask an awkward-to-answer question are not necessarily ready for the answer, the truth. As a quote from Café Society (2016) says:

“Some question you don’t want to know the answers to.”

Honesty is virtue, especially in a world where people put on masks. But the hard truth is, honesty is not always needed or even appreciated. Although I do appreciate those who are honest because they are unique, I probably would have a hard time to actually like someone who always speaks bluntly without considering my feelings.

Just so you know, being “brutally honest” didn’t cost me that date, things didn’t work out in the end because I was naive and I screwed up. I apologize for using an eye-catching title, if it got you this far, I hope you enjoyed my silly little story and my insinificant insights.

Feel free to leave a comment and have a nice day ahead.