What Are Mail Order Brides: An Inside Look at International Love Search

Patty Rose
6 min readMay 21, 2024

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Have you ever wondered what the term mail order bride really means? As someone who has helped connect countless American men with foreign women, I’m here to give you the inside scoop on what mail order brides are, where the concept originated, and some of the unique challenges that can come with pursuing love across borders. Keep reading if you are to try a matchmaking service!

🌍Top Mail order Brides Countries: The Philippines, Ukraine, Mexico, Thailand

💖Popular Mail Order Brides Sites: SofiaDate, TheLuckyDate, SakuraDate

👰Average Age of Mail Order Brides: 27–29

💍Mail Order Brides Success Rate: 75–80%

💰Average Cost of Getting a Mail Order Wife: $3,500-$5,000

Who is a modern mail order bride?

First things first, let’s define what a mail order spouse is. In today’s globalized world, a notion “mail order bride” refers to a woman who chooses to list herself in catalogs or on international dating sites with the intent of marrying a foreigner, most commonly from the United States, Canada, or Western Europe. Ladies from Mexico, China, the Dominican Republic, the Philippines, and Ukraine receive the most U.S. immigration visas for marriage.

Despite the old-fashioned term, the process doesn’t actually involve any “ordering” or product purchases. Instead, it’s simply international matchmaking between men and women looking for lasting love. Modern mail order wives willingly sign up on specialized dating platforms, interact with potential matches via chat or video calls, and eventually meet in person if there’s a connection. The goal is to find a devoted partner for a genuine, loving marriage.

Here’s a more detailed, step-by-step breakdown of how the modern mail order bride process typically works:

  1. Choosing a mail order bride service. The first step for both men and women is to choose a reputable international dating site or agency that specializes in connecting Western men with foreign brides.
  2. Registering & creating a profile. Once registered on the platform, singles create detailed profiles showcasing their personalities, interests, and desired traits in a partner. Ladies often include professional photos and information about their background, while men typically highlight their stability, success, and commitment to finding a loving wife.
  3. Browsing women’s profiles. Members can then browse profiles of potential matches based on criteria like age, location, and shared interests. Many sites offer advanced search filters and matching algorithms to help narrow down the pool of candidates.
  4. Initiating contact with the ones you’ve liked. When a guy finds a woman he’s interested in, he can reach out via the platform’s messaging system. This initial contact usually involves a brief introduction and some lighthearted conversation to gauge compatibility and chemistry.
  5. Deepening the connection. If both parties feel a spark, they’ll continue communicating via chat, email, and eventually video calls or phone conversations. This stage is crucial for building trust, establishing a rapport, and ensuring that each person’s intentions are genuine.
  6. Arranging a real-life meeting. Once the couple has developed a strong connection online, they’ll typically arrange an in-person meeting in the woman’s home country. The man will travel to meet his potential bride, spending time together and getting to know each other’s families and cultures.
  7. Taking the relationship further. If the face-to-face meeting goes well and both parties want to pursue a committed relationship, they’ll begin discussing engagement, marriage, and the process of the bride immigrating to the man’s country. This usually involves applying for a K-1 fiancé visa (if the man is American), which allows the woman to legally enter the U.S. to get married.
  8. Marriage and adjustment. After the bride’s visa is approved and she arrives in her new country, the couple will have a limited time frame (usually 90 days in the U.S.) to tie the knot. Once married, the bride can apply for permanent residency and begin the process of building a life with her husband in his home nation.

I’d emphasize that both partners must be upfront about their expectations, values, and goals for the relationship, working together to create a strong foundation of love and mutual respect.

The roots of international marriage brokering

While the internet has brought mail order women into the mainstream, the practice of international marriage brokering is nothing new. The mail order brides history starts in the American frontier during the mid-1800s when men headed west for work and found themselves without marriage prospects in male-dominated settlements. To find wives, these men would write letters to churches or publish personal advertisements in magazines back East. Women would respond with letters and photographs, sparking long-distance courtships that sometimes led to mail order marriage.

Image source: Smithsonian National Postal Museum

As immigration laws became more restrictive in the early 20th century, matchmaking companies helped connect so-called “picture brides” from Europe and Asia to American men. And while technology may have changed since then, the desire for love and companionship remains timeless.

Potential problems with mail order brides

Of course, no relationship comes without its obstacles — and international unions can present some unique complications. If you’re considering finding your ideal mail order wife overseas, I’d advise you to go in with your eyes open. Some potential problems to consider:

  • Cultural differences. Marrying someone from a different country means adapting to new customs, traditions, and expectations. For example, an Asian mail order woman comes from a patriarchal society with rigidly defined gender roles, which can lead to miscommunication and tension in the relationship if you’re not on the same page.
  • Language barriers. Unless your bride is already fluent in English, communication can present a major challenge — especially when discussing deep emotions or trying to navigate disagreements. Investing in language lessons and translation apps is a must.
  • Legal red tape: Bringing your foreign bride to the United States requires careful adherence to immigration laws, including obtaining a fiancée visa and eventually applying for adjustment of status. The process can be lengthy, expensive, and stressful.
  • Stigma and stereotyping. Despite becoming increasingly mainstream, the mail order bride industry still carries a subtle stigma in some circles. Your friends and family may unfairly judge your bride without getting to know her or make rude assumptions about her motives for marrying a foreigner.
  • Scams and fraud. Unfortunately, the internet’s anonymity makes it easier for scammers to target unsuspecting men in the guise of foreign brides. Some red flags to watch out for include girls who ask for money early on, make excuses not to meet in person, or seem “too good to be true.” Thoroughly vetting potential matches and using a reputable international dating site can help mitigate these risks.

As someone who has helped countless readers understand mail order bride meaning, overcome stereotypes and build happy, healthy international relationships, I can tell you that marrying an overseas lady can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life — as long as you go into it with the right mindset and reasonable expectations. By putting in the effort to understand your bride’s culture, communicate openly and honestly, and patiently navigate the legal procedure, it’s very possible to find your soulmate across the miles.

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