How to know you’re pregnant in 6 weeks or less.

For all women, a skipped period is the strongest indication of pregnancy. You should know this by now because you bleed from your vagina monthly, right?

Well some women, can’t figure this out for whatever reason. Then, they go off nagging about their rights.

Nowadays, 6 weeks is quite important because the little cluster of cells in your womb will develop a “heartbeat”. Depending on what American state you live in, an abortion may unconstitutionally place you in prison for life or on death row. It’s your responsibility to be reactive in time before you have to “commit” an abortion and “kill” what wouldn’t survive outside of its current environment (the womb).

Now, let’s pay a little attention, finally? Maybe your school didn’t offer sex education so here’s a little crash course. Let’s learn how the female anatomy works so you don’t have to “wait 6 weeks.” This advice is written in the perspective of an ideal consensual world.

From the top, what’s a period and why care?

But, first, how do you get pregnant?

You get pregnant when the highly competitive sperm suiter meets the egg damsel — (zinc) sparks fly. The fertilized egg, now called an embryo, successfully implants itself in the uterus. The membrane around the embryo transforms into the placenta. The placenta produces human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG).

Try to remember this hCG, because this is what pregnancy tests produce “positive” results for.

Next, what’s a period?

If the egg is not fertilized, hormones needed to support the egg begin to decline and the lining of the uterus shrivels away from the uterine wall. A period is the release of the no longer fertile egg along with the buildup of blood and tissue that is shed from your uterus.

About midway through your menstrual cycles, you have your ovulation day when your newly fertile egg drops. While you’re most fertile on the ovulation day, you have what is called the fertile window about 4–5 days before your actual ovulation and about 1 day after. FYI, the egg is viable usually between 12–36 hours and sperm are usually viable inside you for about 4–5 days.

So what did you learn? Simply and crudely put:

You are highly likely to get knocked up midway between your periods.

But, on the off chance, you can still get pregnant at any point in the cycle depending on this funny thing we called irregularities.

Although 4 weeks is “standard”, a “normal” menstrual cycle is anywhere from 3–5.5 weeks. If you happen to be regular and have a 5.5-week cycle and get pregnant before your ovulation time frame, you may have been pregnant for a 2-week longer period of time before even knowing you’re late.

Also, doctors usually start counting the pregancy timeframe from the date of your last period.

If you happen to be on the longer cycle length of 5.5 weeks, you have a handicap with the countdown because you only have half a week grace period.

And, what happens if you’re late?

Well, well. You better haul ass to the nearest pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. You may have only days left of your 6-week deadline. Is that the best word for it, deadline?. And, let’s hope your body has produced enough hCG in time for the pregnancy test to be accurate (we’ll get to more of that later).

Take some precautions to prevent the 6-week scare.

Are you abstaining from practicing abstinence? Well. You really will have to protect yourself, especially if you live in Alabama.

Interested in a hormonal contraceptive? You can take a daily pill, get an IUD clinically inserted in your vagina, have one implanted under your skin, place a ring in your vagina, or get a shot.

So many options! But, it’s not always easy to access pharmaceutical contraceptives when there is a constant attack to defund Planned Parenthood.

However easy hormonal contraceptives may seem, one size does not fit all, and often women experience side effects including uncontrollable mood swings, decreased sex drive, depression, nausea, weight gain, or migraines. You might even lose your partner (and source of sex) because your moods have changed so much. Also, rumors and science have it, the pill may also increase the risk of cervical and breast cancer in some women. Finally, these hormonal contraceptives do not prevent getting STDs and STIs (cooties).

Maybe hormonal contraceptive isn’t right for you. Although there are a few options for non-hormonal contraceptives, male condoms are probably your best bet especially to protect against those aforementioned cooties.

What do you do during condom rips, condom slips or general condom failure? It’s important to know that condoms do fail for a lot of reasons since they are often misused.

To be the most proper and responsible lady, you have to nuke the possibility of all error and use all of the above at the same time as to not risk a future pregnancy (the author of this article is not a doctor and is not prescribing this).

Questionable sex? Well, you always have a Plan B.

Did you maybe have unprotected or questionable sex recently while not on a contraceptive? Well.

Okay. There is a perfect solution to prevent pregnancy that should definitely nip a pregnancy in its bud.

What about a magic pill that prevents pregnancy after unprotected sex?

The Plan B pill promises to temporarily prevent the release of the egg, stops the sperm from reaching the egg and also prevents the embryo from attaching to the uterine wall.

Tell me more!

It works 95% of the time if you take the Plan B pill within 24 hours of conception, and it works 89% of the time if you take it within 72 hours. So, let’s just hope you’re not the 1 in 20 nor the 1 in 10 ladies this “cure all” won’t cure, respectively.

With any “cure-all”, there’s some fine print. At a federal level, you can get it over the counter if you’re older than 17 or through a prescription if you are 16 and under. Every state has different laws to access this magic pill, and some states include it in sexual assault kits, in such emergencies, unless you decide to opt out of taking the pill.

As a result, states that require it to be part of sexual assault kits tend to have lower teenage pregnancy rates of 8.5 -15 percent, while the deep south where the abortion issue has once again inflamed debates over women’s reproductive rights boasts teenage birth rates as high as 28–35%. This is not an isolated correlation by any means. The Southern and “flyover” red states tend to restrict access to such reproductive medical care and contraception. Further emboldened by the rash of heartbeat bills, some states are taking steps to abolish clinics qualified to perform abortions altogether.

That being said, if you’re in the right age range and can easily afford the $30-$60 over the counter price tag for this magic pill, you’ll have a fighting chance of averting future irresponsibilities. Irresponsibilities like unprotected sex due to being human, condom breaks, condom slips, coerced sans-condom sex or even rapes.

But, what happens when your period is, often, late?

Have you heard of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)? Probably not. Unfortunately, it has a stupid stigma around it since it doesn’t fit into the photoshopped standard of beauty set by the media. Well, what is it?

PCOS is caused by an imbalance of reproductive hormones and creates problems in the ovaries, extra hair growth, and egg maturation. PCOS affects about 10% of all women. Some ethnicities are more prone to PCOS like 18–20% of Hispanic Latinas. It is the most common endocrine disorder affecting all women and is the number one cause of infertility (30% of IVF cases), yet is often under-diagnosed. The World Health Organization and the Centers for Disease Control estimate 70% of PCOS cases are undiagnosed. (ref: Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). (2019)

Why is it this important when trying to figure out pregnancy?

Well if you happen to have PCOS, you can still get pregnant. However, you may suffer from light to extreme irregularities. With PCOS, the egg may not develop as it should or it may not be released during ovulation as it should be. Women with PCOS are often very irregular and have extended cycles. Sometimes, period cycles just plain stop for months on end.

Think of it as that friend, Aunt Flakey Flo, who shows up hours late to dinner or skips out altogether for one dumb excuse or no excuse at all. Even though you’ve told her in person to be more respectful, she brushes it aside while chuckling “c’est la vie”.

So, how does one distinguish if you’re late due to being pregnant vs Aunt Flakey Flo being a flake again? Honestly, it’s likely you won’t really know until you start having other symptoms, probably past the 6-week mark.

If you happen to be sexually active and have periods that often hibernate at the hail of wind, you’ll need to go to Costco and bulk up on pregnancy tests. Take these tests like candy probably multiple times a year after doing the nasty. Because as we mentioned, protection isn’t always foolproof.

All is fine, I’m on my period.

But you’re not.

“Whaaat? Hold my beer.”

That’s spotting.

Remember when we talked about the moment of conception? Well, the second bit of that equation is the fertilized egg sticking to the uterus lining.

The egg sticking to the uterus lining may take up to 10/15 days, which means you will most likely have a strong blood build that needs to be released, so you’ll still have a period. When this happens, it will usually be a shorter and lighter period of maybe a day or 2 versus your full flow, but a period nonetheless.

This false flag of a period flow can lead you to think that you had your period and that you’re not pregnant. Then, you’ll naturally wait for your next period and you’ll pass the 6-week mark. Tough news.

Another common reason you may bleed is actually a natural abortion. About 20 to 30% of women with confirmed pregnancies bleed during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy; half of these women spontaneously abort, or miscarriage.

If you feel like you’re on your period although it is not as your normal typhoons, you can potentially be pregnant. You’ll have to wait for other symptoms to even plant the seed of the idea in your head that you may be pregnant. Once you mentally think that you might be pregnant, you might want to shuffle along to the store to get a pregnancy test.

The possible moment of truth.

Pregnancy tests are not on demand food delivery services like Uber Eats, so plan accordingly. Pregnancy tests take time, and you won’t get a refund from a chipper (but jaded) customer support representative if it fails or doesn’t meet your expectations.

Remember that hCG term from the how does pregnancy work? Well, you need your hCG levels to rise for a pee stick to trace you are pregnant, and this usually is possible 2–4 weeks after conception.

If you want to take the test post questionable and fear-ridden condom break sex, you should still anxiously wait for a bare minimum of 2 weeks. This is why experts recommend taking a pregnancy test at least 1 or 2 weeks after your missed period.

Remember, you tend to get pregnant midway through your cycle. In a hyper ideal world and at the very earliest, you can detect pregnancy after 4 weeks of conception with an over-the-counter pregnancy test and a very strong understanding of your personal menstruation schedule. This obviously is squeezing you closer to your 6-week deadline. Again, this is in a hyper ideal world.

However, and this is a big however. About 25% of the time, women can be pregnant but their hCG levels are not high enough to detect a positive result. So they can take a test, get a false reading, think they are not pregnant and then end up being pregnant later. Sometimes, the window which a woman can detect pregnancy could be anywhere from 6–10 weeks after her last period. Shucks, past your deadline.

The other alternative to test for pregnancy is an ultrasound which can be confirmed within 6–8 weeks. Double shucks, this is still past your deadline, so it won’t work for you.

But let’s say you tested, and the results are positive?

Oops. You better cancel that run to the bank, the DMV appointment and all of the other millions of things you’re doing, because you might need to drive to the one and only abortion clinic in your state, ASAP.

But wait, you‘re pregnant past 6 weeks?

Sounds like these instructions weren’t foolproof enough.

So, Congratulations. You’re expecting now. You potentially were even planning on this pregnancy — maybe you even paid to be artificially inseminated. Whatever it is, you take a sonogram at 20 weeks. But, oh wait.

Upon what should be a special moment of seeing an image of your child for the first time, your doctor instead sits you down to tell you something serious…

“Your baby will be born with a disability,”

or

“You or your child may not survive this pregnancy…”

You’re in complete despair. And, you’re not alone in this feeling. 8–20% of first time expecting mothers often have complications of this nature. You’re in a vulnerable state and don’t know what the hell to do. Do you get a “forced abortion”, AKA a “miscarriage”?

Actually, certain lawmakers in certain states made the decision very easy to make, because you have no choice. You’ll have to wait it out until the end because you are legally obliged to or you’ll be arrested for life or on death row in case if you want to protect yourself and your potential offspring.

Who run the world?

Uninformed power-crazed men in politics who are making laws that are out of touch with their constituents. Let them know: we will not tolerate your unconstitutional actions, and you will lose the vote.

If you’ve never bled on your sheets, your underwear, your couch, or your white pants before labor day, then you actually have no idea what it’s like to have a period. A solid rule of thumb might be:

“It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” ― Mark Twain

The intention of this article is to help spread knowledge of human anatomy of 50% of the population. So share with your friends, brothers, sisters, fathers, and mothers because we all need to know how.

Next time, you’ll be prepared on how to respond to someone the next time someone says, “Why wait 6 weeks?”

About the article. Written by Patty Castaneda, a freelance senior UX/UI designer. A special thanks for the extra help to Tony Morrison, Founder at emerging startup MotiveBio. All images are the original artwork of pattycreates.com (please message for permission to use).