Friends do we need them?

A question for discussion in my short post is about friends. What do they mean to you? Here are some thoughts about the impact of my friends have had on me over the years.
The friend is a common expression, especially these days with the plethora of social media-driven groups. I want to look at my relationships as a child. In the playground in my infant’s school, I remember clusters of children grouping together. I remember seeing much larger children on the school playing field next to our play area. Terrifying huge 14year olds. Why was it terrifying? Not really sure as I obviously had huge parents.
Also, I had huge brothers and sisters. I was attracted to other small people and in a sense forced to make their company. Day one at school I sat next to someone and was expected to make friends. I didn’t have any training and couldn’t choose who I sat next to. Some days I would be ecstatic for a while and in tears the next.
My parents were gentle souls and civilised in their communication. As I was the youngest of 5 they were also much older than many of my school “friends” parents. We were herded into classes of 35 and the idea was to prepare us for society. This I guess can be intellectually supported by the very people that this absurd idea supports. Since I left the manipulated education system I have experienced that in fact, life bears little relation to what went on in school.
I am not bitter; this is more of a personal observation. I am finding now that my true way of learning has got a great opportunity to flourish. I am nearly in my sixties and feel that I have just started to be able to learn in the way that works for me.
Back to friends. Is it important to have them? An immediate response is a resounding yes. However on reflection when I spend a lot of time trying to appease or encourage friendship am I avoiding many of the things that I actually need to be tackling. At the same point, some of my “friends” have actually aided my demise in the past.
Maybe they are “friends” because it is through the misadventures that I have been able to strengthen my core being to the point that I can now be a little wiser in my response to certain negative situations.
I believe acquaintances is more appropriate a term. A friend can be someone who tells you straight that you are making a mistake. It can be that the one who agrees that you are doing the right thing is not a friend at all. So it goes on.
Certainly, it is probably not wise to expect to rely on your friends too much. After all, they have most probably had the same confusing start as you may have experienced.
Patrick Turner-Lee
ptlpaintings.com
