Blinded by My Feelings
Sometimes you don’t see something clearly because we are blinded by our feelings. Our feelings become our brains and we stop thinking logically.
I kept remembering all the good moments we had, how much we used to laugh and how we “knew” each other so well. Its funny how one day someone is in your life and the next, they’re gone. You keep wondering what happened, when and why. Breaking your mind to figure someone else’s. Yet, there is a point where enough is enough.
For someone who likes concrete answers and knowing the whys behind (like me); when you don’t have the answers and you are left filled with uncertainty; frustration kicks in. The not knowing would keep me up all night, keep me from living in the moment, it kept me from thinking in something else.
That feeling you have when so much is going on in your head that it wears you down. I ended my days exhausted even though I had done nothing productive.
Yesterday I wasn’t exhausted, I was just fine. I didn’t complain instead I smiled. This because I said enough is enough. I had to move on from whatever was that was wearing my down. The answer was very logical: he is not worth it. As simple as that. If only my emotions would have moved to a side maybe I would have realized this much sooner.
That’s what I meant by blinded by our feelings. Since my emotions took over my head, I couldn’t think clearly. I couldn’t stay focused in one thing for too long before remembering moments. I couldn’t move on and forget because I was drowning in the uncertainty of his mind.
So yesterday, his mind didn’t matter anymore but mine did. With one act and simple words my questions, doubts, and frustration were answered. All the clutter I had in my mind cleared away.
I realized I was letting a problem the size of a dog impact me as if the problem was an elephant. Yes my problem wasn’t small, but, it didn’t deserve my full exhaustion and frustration.