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“Attention passengers, the flight to Mordor will be temporarily delayed while we find a seat for an United Airlines employee. Since we had no volunteers, we have randomly selected a passenger to give up their seat. Is there a Mr. Baggins, a Frodo Baggins on board?”

“What? No! you don’t understand, I have traveled across many lands and have surmounted many obstacles to obtain this seat! I have battled Orcs, ringwraiths and the terrible Shelob so that I could take this flight to Mordor and destroy the One ring!”

“I’m sorry sir, but if you do not leave peacefully, we will call for the Chicago Aviation Security officers to forcefully remove you from the plane.”

“Oh no, not the Chicago Aviation Security officers! We are all doomed! Aaaaiiiieeeee!”

Or perhaps…

“Attention passengers, the flight to Kansas will be temporarily delayed while we find a seat for an United Airlines employee. Since we had no volunteers, we have randomly selected a passenger to give up their seat. Is there a Ms. Gale, a Dorothy Gale on board?”

“Dammit, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there no place like ack! Aaaaiiieeeee…”

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