I Don’t Believe in Second Chances

Another talk on forgiveness! Robbins was a pretty standard talk and take on the Atonement. But as usual, I have my thoughts, because I’m always re-thinking my Mormonism and my belief system.
We may wonder — if both Nephi and Moses were on the Lord’s errand, why didn’t the Lord intervene and help them achieve success on their first try? Why did He allow them — and why does He allow us — to flounder and fail in our attempts to succeed?
Robbins gives several answers to these questions, but what was strange to me is that none of them involved questioning your belief system. I’m sure the answers he provides are a balm for some people’s souls, but I also think it’s important to:
1) look at what assumptions I’m making when I ask questions;
2) question whether those assumptions are correct;
3) identify why the question is important to me in the first place;
4) do the work to determine if the question itself is important if not, I address the deeper issues at play
None of my responses to questions have anything to do with answering the ACTUAL question. The answer to the question is secondary. The questions are what I live (in a Rilke sense of the word). Answers eventually come to my questions, but seeking a response to a direct question isn’t my top priority.
I do not give myself hope; I do not start climbing out of the hole. I dig deeper. The only way out of the hole is by doing that. An answer to the immediate question is a temporary respite. It’s like taking Tylenol when the source of the pain actually requires surgery. So I do the surgery first…eventually eliminating the need for Tylenol.
I was telling friends the other day that I’m not a traditionally believing Mormon nor do I fit in progressive or ex-Mo circles. I’m a burn-it-all-down kind of Mormon.
I told my friend Amber, “I don’t know what I’m doing. Like, who wants someone to tell them just to burn it all down? But it works for me. Utter desolation/destruction gives me hope, and it is fun. I don’t exist to give people hope; I don’t think. And that sucks, but there are plenty of you out there with such gifts. I don’t have to be that person. I can just be me.”
So many people, when they have questions like the one Robbins’ outlined, want hope. I don’t. I want to interrogate my questions and my belief system and find my truth in addition to universal Truth. I can’t do that if I give myself by-the-book answers to shallow (at least to me) questions.
While we are grateful for second chances following mistakes, or failures of the mind, we stand all amazed at the Savior’s grace in giving us second chances in overcoming sin, or failures of the heart.
So I don’t believe in second chances. The conditions needed for a “second chance” will never exist. God/Jesus, as powerful as they are, cannot recreate a situation to give you a second chance.
When someone has a “second chance,” they are experiencing something completely new. On the surface, it might look like a “second chance” because a cheek has turned and you have another chance to decide whether to slap it. But in reality, the cheek has already been slapped in the “second chance.” It is a different opportunity/situation. Not a second chance.
To me, this means it is a new situation altogether. A second chance would imply that life would rewind and I would get a second chance at slapping an individual the first time.
That is IMPOSSIBLE. Second changes are impossible. God cannot give second chances because people are always learning and growing. You never encounter the same situation or the same person twice. Everything is a first chance.
To me, that requires WAY more humility and meekness that accepting a second chance. It means I must approach each situation with a beginners mind, not-knowing, and non-judgment. It’s harder to live in a world where second chances are impossible and don’t exist. However, there is a lot more grace and connection in doing so.
Repentance isn’t His backup plan in the event we might fail. Repentance is His plan, knowing that we will.
The only reason I’m posting this quote is because this idea seems to come from Adam Miller. While I appreciate that Miller talks about grace which isn’t necessarily repentance, it’s the same concept. I wish Miller would have been credited.
In this lifetime curriculum of repentance, the sacrament is the Lord’s designated way of providing continual access to His forgiveness.
Yeah, I don’t know if his words here are correct for me. The Sacrament may REMIND me of my regular access to grace, but it does not PROVIDE that access.
Concerning change, consider this simple insight: “Things that don’t change remain the same.” This obvious truth isn’t meant to insult your intelligence but is the profound wisdom of President Boyd K. Packer, who then added, “And when we are through changing — we’re through.”19
I liked this quote/idea from Packer. It reminds me to look at how I’m changing when I feel stuck. We can’t help but change and progress and move forward. It’s one of the ways we are like God and made in God’s image. We’re alive, therefore we are changing. This gives me great hope. Grace is at work even when I don’t actively call on it. I only need to see it and receive it.
