The Top 25 BS Lies That We Believe About Biking
1. Biking is painful.
Endurance and tenacity means sweaty climbs, sucking wind, broken bones and road rash. On a seat that is a medieval torture device. On the upside, if you wait long enough your backside gets numb.
Biking also means the wind in your face, the joy of movement, doing what you will, biking with others, and the downhill thrill.
Sure, you have to get out there and risk something in order to bike, but the alternative is never risking anything and never riding at all.
2. Successful biking is for young people.
You “lost” your chance. You let those days whiz by you like a sprinter in the Tour de France. You left behind that child in the dust, the one who loved to ride that bike.
The child may never make it to the Tour, but he has a lifetime membership and full access to every public bike path. Take your pick. Go as fast, or as slow, as you wish.
It is always the perfect time to begin.
3. Learning to bike is a time limited offer.
Learning to bike has no expiry date. All you need to know in order to begin is that the bike was designed for the human body — human butts, human hands and human feet. The pedals of the bike are designed for forward movement. The handle bars are how you steer. As you ride you learn how to brake and when to brake.
It is never too late to be the bike rider that you (realistically) could have been.
4. I cannot bike in my condition. I am too out of shape now to even consider it.
Physical fitness is not the domain of the young or the even the healthy.
Flexibility and freedom of motion are limited only by the mind that believes there is no other way, and that nothing less than perfection will do.
5. Bikers are all thin as rails. I don’t have a biker’s body.
With the exception of a rare few, obesity is a matter of intake not matching output.
Stop defending your excuses and push away from the curb. Where there is a will there is a way.
6. Trying to bike is the same as biking.
Trying works in Rugby. And in the courtroom.
However, saying you will “try” something is generally an announcement of a half-hearted attempt. Don’t try. Do it. Give it your all, right from your core — put your heart into it.
If you can’t do it the first time, do it again ’til you can. If it doesn’t work, let your experience become the benefit of trying.
7. I know nothing worth sharing about biking.
Life is relationship. Everyone is sharing biking tips all the time. Some are not so practical so apply them only after thoughtful deliberation.
Consider how you share the bike path. Become familiar with the rules of courteous bike riding.
A cheerful smile along the way can be the best part of someone’s day…and yours.
8. Bike riding sucks.
The suck in your life is like carrying an old, heavy bike on your back. You carry it as you plod along, uphill and downhill, bent and twisted by the handlebars smashing into your skull every time you look up, its pedals digging grooves into your rear end with each movement.
How much farther could you get by simply stopping, taking the bike off your back and learning to ride it?
What paths could you explore, what destinations could you reach on even a sucky bike?
How much faster could you zoom downhill, creating momentum that can even take you up the other side?
What muscles will you work easier and with less energy, as well as with less wear and tear on your joints?
Bikes, like all machines, eventually wear out. Make efficient use of your bike while you have it — it has the ability to open you up to new and exciting terrain.
Experiences, like all events, eventually pass. Suffering and not learning from that suffering is a waste of your precious energy.
The terrain you are riding right now is not all there is. It is just a rocky part of the path.
9. I cannot ride a bike.
I have no bike.
I have no coordination.
I haven’t ridden a bike in decades.
There is nobody who can teach me how to ride, and even if there was I have no money to buy a bike, let alone pay for lessons.
I’m too old for training wheels.
You say you can’t…your right! And you’ll prove it.
10. Biking is for bikers.
The cool kids ride slick road bikes, or mountain bikes or BMX. I am not cool.
I cannot ride with that level of pretty. I will never ride pretty.
I think they were born with bikes up their butts.
Riding a bike is what makes a biker, not bike-gazing. Pretty and cool are ideas, nothing more.
11. I never had a decent bike.
I gave my bike away because it was a useless piece of crap.
I traded it for a pack of smokes.
I wasn’t given a new bike as a kid, always someone’s worn out piece of crap hand-me-down.
I never learned how to ride a quality bike.
An expensive bike would be wasted on me.
Never had a decent bike? Keep this up and you never will.
12. They say I shouldn’t bike.
My dad always said I was big and clumsy. It’s true, guess I should stick to walking.
I never should have given up biking.
I would still be biking if not for my lazy parents.
I have to take shots for my diabetes. Riding could throw my sugars off.
I have this diagnosis, you see…
A severe case of the Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda’s is just as debilitating as any other life-threatening disease.
13. I hope to buy a bike someday!
There are some great looking bikes in a shop on the street where I work. I look at them every day as I walk to the office. I allow myself to dream of one day to be able to afford a bike like that. Truth be told, I barely make ends meet. I will probably never be able to afford one.
I’ve been buying a lotto ticket every week with my Friday coffee for years — here’s hoping that I will win and then I will buy that bike. A person’s gotta have their dream…
Tell me again…what is the definition of a fantasy?
14. To bike or not to bike? What is the question?
I worry about biking — people get killed on bikes all the time — they get hit by cars; they get mugged and their bikes stolen; they fall off their bikes and sometimes get serious injuries. And I couldn’t go out alone…my friends are not into biking and I don’t know anyone who is. And I am too shy to join a bike club…
I worry about not biking — people die from an unhealthy lifestyle and I have a hard time climbing my basement stairs — that worries me more than you will ever know. I wouldn’t know who to trust to teach me and I don’t have any money to buy a bike, or even fix an old one up if I had an old one. I did mean to try the bike that my friend offered me but I am the worst procrastinator who has ever lived. Honestly, she wanted me to bike with her, but I don’t want to start something I can’t finish and let her down.
Do this experiment: What happens when you pull something towards you with one hand and push it away with the other?
15. Anyone can spoil a perfectly good “biking” day.
“Someone called me a nerd for wearing a helmet. Asshole! I feel so foolish! I put that bike in the shed!”
Why don’t you just give him your bike, too?
Nobody has the ability to spoil your day. You do that through your agreement.
16. Someone can make my “biking” day.
You may say, “That made my day.” It is a beautiful compliment to the giver, but what really makes your good biking day is your being grateful for it.
Gratitude, like abundance, is attracted to its welcome.
17. If I train hard enough I will defy gravity…and time.
If I ride long enough and hard enough and perfect my technique I will ride away the wrinkles. And I will ride away from the elderly.
Do you really think that you can ride fast enough to cheat the Reaper?
18. I will bike away dying.
I ride fast and hard, regardless of weather or terrain. I am an elite rider. I SAY what rules apply to me! I’ve taken all the courses; I follow the rules of the road. I won’t get injured, or sick, or be too tired to ride fast and hard. I’ve got vision…and buns of steel.
The way of all things is to be stripped of all things…
19. Folks will remember my riding expertise when I am gone.
This is my route. I have ridden it thousands of times. It is the most efficient use of time and energy for my investment.
I have mapped this route and offered it to others. Many have loved it and sing my praises. I am proud to declare that I am a skilled biking coach.
However…it’s been decades and I have to admit that I am a bit disappointed that they still haven’t named this route after me…not even a plaque to say I rode here so often.
I will have to draw up my own darn sign!
The way people remember me now is much more important than the way they will remember me when I’m gone. What happens when there is no-one left who remembers?
20. It’s all about the race.
I race. I have no time for those that casually meander down the trail, getting in each other’s way — chatting and laughing and waving at each other just because we are all riding a bicycle.
That is where the resemblance between us ends.
I am an athlete and I train hard. I spend resources to gather resources so I can compete with the best. I only buy the best equipment.
I live to race bikes. I love racing.
Casual biking is for those who are too old or too unfit to keep up with those of us who are crushing it!
What are you racing towards? What are you racing away from?
The day you stop racing is the day you win the race. — Bob Marley
21. I am Yellow.
I train alone.
I don’t point out potholes for others.
If I ride in a peloton I use it to my advantage.
I use the slipstream of others to conserve energy.
I am no domestique.
Competition has been shown to be useful up to a certain point and no further, but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today, begins where competition leaves off. — Franklin D. Roosevelt
22. If it doesn’t have an engine, it ain’t worth its wheels.
I ride machines. I straddle that beast, feel its grease coursing through my blood, its mighty roar as I gun’ er and grind those gears…
I ride in machines. Comfortable and luxurious ones with a European name and a moon roof that highlights my hair.
I never sweat…I glow. Do I look like an athlete to you?
When was the last time you did something for the first time? John C. Maxwell
Wisdom is realizing the benefit of perspective.
23. Bike riding is too hard for me now.
These modern routes are too hard now-a-days. They are computer designed for those riders with advanced shock systems and carbon fibre bikes.
I can’t bend myself into a damn pretzel like those guys on TV.
My knees wouldn’t last a kilometer on that thing.
Can’t do what I used to do when I was in my prime.
I have no trouble admitting that I have already biked my last trail.
I am a realist and it’s time to hang up these wheels.
What kind of wheels will you be trading them in for?
24. I have a sore leg. I’ll ride tomorrow.
Tomorrow never comes.
There is never a good enough reason to ride if you don’t want to ride.
If you apply the same amount of energy that you spent searching for reasons not to ride on reasons to ride, you will be out on that bike in no time.
25. I just can’t!!
I could never ride alone.
What if I get a flat tire in the middle of nowhere?
What if I get lost?
What if someone attacks me?
Cars don’t pay attention to bikers — bikers get hit all the time.
What if someone steals my bike?
What if I go too far and get too tired to bike back home?
What if it rains?
It’s too windy — headwinds and crosswinds suck.
It’s too hot — a few years ago I heard of a guy who died of heat stroke while running on the beach.
I can’t ride in the winter. We get snow here, you know!
I have laundry that can’t wait.
If I bike too hard the kids can’t keep up.
If I bike with the kids they don’t like to wait for my ole ass to catch up.
I get so out of breath, what if I take the “Big One” out there on the trail? I am over 50, you know!
Yeah, I’m young but I don’t like to bike. I only walk around inside the mall. I may die of an aneurysm or some heart condition that I don’t even know I have.
Helmets are stupid.
I may have to walk my bike up a hill and that’s not cool. Cool people ride the steep hills.
I’m too fat for bike shorts. And why do they make those cool jerseys so darn tight?
Stop. Look. Listen. Proceed.
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