I am in grief and anger all the time. And joy and hope. And sadness. I think we need to go through it all to come out on the other side where life isn’t what we expected but it’s still good.
Right? It’s crazy, adds to our burdens, and doesn’t serve any purpose. I think, in doing so, I enabled my ex to continue some of his worst behaviours because he was allowed to. No more.
I so appreciate your insights. I do feel closer to my kids, in ways I didn’t expect, but it is tainted with regret at not doing right by them sooner.
Thank you so much for reading. Your own story, that you shared on FB, helped me when I was at my lowest earlier this year. Sometimes knowing that someone else walked this path…
What got me were the good times. The things he did that threw me off because they were loving or felt like that in the moment. I thought I was as happy as I could get, or would get, in life. Now I can see how wrong I was.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your experience! I hope I end up in a healthy relationship at some point but right now I am savoring figuring out who I am.
I think as creatives we are always forced to be vulnerable in order to do and share our craft, so if we didn’t start out as alcoholic people with mental health issues, we certainly end up that way. But there also is something to be said for using a vehicle, like alcohol, to get out of our own way. It removes the stages of grappling with our inner critic and lets us get down to work.