(3/3) How we spend our time — can we find what’s valuable?

I believe we have a shared desire to spend our time pursuing fulfilling and meaningful endeavors. I also believe that people have trouble determining what exactly that means to them.

A great starting point is looking at the things that are already working in our lives, and asking what makes those activities stand out. Is there some “secret sauce” that we can incorporate into the other things we do?

This is the conclusion of a three-part series where we’re talking about how we spend our time. In this part, we’ll talk about the ways that we can enrich our lives. If you missed it, you can find the second part of the series — where we talked about some of life’s barriers — here.

Go with the flow (state)

Do you have an activity you can do that consumes your undivided attention? If so, you’ve likely experienced a flow state. In a flow state, your mind becomes highly concentrated on what it’s doing. As your internal dialogue quiets, and your focus narrows, the world simply melts away.

The process is meditative, therapeutic, and transformative — but it comes with a catch. Reaching a flow state often requires some degree of proficiency.

It was sixteen years ago, before I had experienced (or heard of) flow state, that I took up the guitar. It was the better part of a decade before I would regularly reach a flow. It took years of perseverance, practicing, and being bad.

I didn’t realize how important the investment I was making would become. A skill cannot be taken away from you, and a skill that helps you reach a flow will pay dividends of happiness in your life.

It’s not without challenges — the delayed gratification of perseverance is a difficult obstacle. It requires you to expect more from your time, and be willing to try new things to achieve it. It requires active self-participation.

But don’t forget about each other

Exchanging ideas and building community were pivotal tools in the rise of our civilization — we centered our lives around each other. You can see remnants of this lifestyle in old (very social and very walkable) European cities, or in the sprawling neighbor-centric porches of older North American suburbs.

How often are you connecting with other people, having face to face conversations, and building community in your life? Do you feel like you even belong to a community?

Technology has created tools to interconnect society in ways that dwarf the interactions of our ancestors, yet it can feel like we’re all on our own.

Humans thrived due to their ability to form tight social circles and live together. What direction do you think this bond is moving in?

Are there actions that you can take to strengthen the relationships in your life, and if so would these actions have a net positive impact on your life? If the answer to that question is yes, then I think it’s important to ask yourself what barrier has stopped you from doing this already.

So how should we spend our time?

You won’t be surprised that I don’t have an answer to this question. Looking at our current behaviors and predicting how our lives will unfold can be a useful tool for evaluating the decisions you make.

If you invested more of your energy into your relationships, skills, and enterprises, how would that change your life five years down the road?

I believe that when we put effort into our lives, we get out more than our initial investment, we would be crazy not to take advantage of that right? The only ingredients needed are persistence and patience.

A decision deferred is a decision made.

It’s a shame to let the passage of time decide the direction of your life. Making decisions about what you want, and the changes needed to realize those goals is an important piece of being an active participant in life. Do not let time rob you of your choices.

I started writing this short series because I was concern about how I spend my time and thought maybe other people were too. I think the most important thing that we can do is regularly challenge the way that we are living our life, and ask ourselves if we’re living a life of purpose.