If I’m So Smart, Why Am I So Dumb?
People are astonished by how much you can do. You think you’re lazy. There’s so much that you’re not doing.
People tell you how smart you are. You feel dumb. You know how much you don’t know and you still haven’t decided what you want to be when you grow up.
People admire your (musical, artistic, mathematical, linguistic, etc.) talents. You think they’re patronizing you. You notice all of the mistakes you make. Surely, they do, too, but they’re too polite to mention them.
How is it possible that you see yourself as a lazy not-so-smart slacker and others see you as so-lucky-to-be gifted? How can your sense of yourself be so different from how others see you?
Maybe it’s your super high expectations. You don’t realize that others don’t have similar standards. Doesn’t everyone want to create beauty, balance, harmony and justice all of the time? Don’t all people value precision?
Maybe it’s your enthusiasm for learning about, well, everything. Isn’t everyone obsessed with reading and researching multiple disparate topics instead of sleeping, which is such a waste of time? Aren’t all people thrilled that MIT is offering classes online? Doesn’t everyone dream of changing career paths every 3–5 years?
Maybe it’s your capacity for observing and perceiving and noticing. Isn’t everyone bothered by the buzzing florescent lights, the crooked pictures on the wall, the house in your neighborhood that was painted chartreuse?
Maybe it’s your extra sensitivity and empathy. Can’t everyone feel the distress in the room? Isn’t everyone overwhelmed by the news? Don’t all humans want to save the world?
So, if you’re confused by the difference between the feedback that you get and your own self-perception, time to get unconfused.
Perhaps, being “so smart” is more than astonishing achievements or academic success or memorizing mathematical equations. Perhaps, being gifted includes high standards, zest for learning, keen capacity to perceive, intense sensitivity and exceptional empathy.
Perhaps, you aren’t a lazy not-so-smart slacker after all. Maybe you are, in fact, confused-and-nervous-but-in-fact-possibly g-g-gifted.