The Great Douchebag Mystery
Elizabeth Spiers
445

The Douchebag Erectus believes that your opinion is wrong because you haven’t been with him (or one of his bro-species) yet. If only you’d recognize the irresistible Adonis he is and submit to his three or four thrusts (instead of putting up a fight), you’d change your worldview on being treated like an object. Sadly, his marinade of Axe body spray, combined with his natural musk (Repugnant by Calvin Klein) is Kryptonite to women armed with self-respect (or a modicum of taste).