The Father in Him

Pauline Montero
4 min readAug 24, 2015

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He mightily made his way out of the house and into the side of his car. As he opened the car door, she kissed his father goodbye.

Sweet! I see my father’s built in him!”, said our friend.

I rushed myself inside their gate, picking up something on the floor, well, at least trying to pick up something on the floor. What it was, I forgot. All I know is, I have to hide the waters blurring my sight until I have all the tears held back.

Twenty-three months of Christianity at the moment of this writing yet, yes, I don’t know why, but it still hurts.

I am fatherless. I lived my life growing up without the love of a father.

I do not know how it is to have parents. I do have a mother — wait, let me repeat that. I do have a very loving, caring, and a superwoman mother, yet I do not know how well a family works with a father leading the team. I do not know how to be treated like his girl or be protected and be told ‘not to do this, not to do that’. I do not know how fun will it be with him around the house. I do not know how different life would be with him in the story.

At one father’s day service, I found myself in tears after the bumper video was showed.

Hey, you have released it all already, right?”, said the friend on my side with her hands at my back. I know. I know. But maybe people don’t know that there are still fragments left wounding my arteries. It pains. It bleeds.

These moments don’t usually come. See I have told you I grew up without a father, and you know what, I grew up thinking, it’s normal. I grew up having in mind that what I have is perfect — me, my mom, my brothers and all the love is just so fine and perfect.

I couldn’t ask for more.

Not until I began realizing that it’s not, that all the perfect love were actually broken. Indeed, before my eyes, it was revealed that what we have is a broken family.

Broken. It is not a family picture less of a father that makes a family broken. It’s the pieces snatched out of the lives of the members’ hearts that makes it feel incomplete.

Closer and closer, inside you see a missing puzzle piece. Yet, zooming out and out of the picture, a big hand holds it all. — And then I saw something brighter than what I realized ever before.

What I received when I said ‘yes’ to Christ was not only freedom from sin and eternal life in heaven but also sonship.

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father’.”

Romans 8:15

The God I have been hearing of when I was younger came close to my life and presented Himself not just as my Savior, Lord, Master and King, but also, most of all, as my Father.

“I will be a father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty.”

2 Corinthians 6:18

Ain’t that amazing?!

I do not know about you but every time this truth hits me, I get overwhelmed and very much amazed that the Creator of the heavens and the earth knows me by name and calls me His daughter!

I’m always like, ‘Wow! The God I am praising, the King I am serving, the Lord I am pleasing loves me and actually invites me to call Him “Father”!’

Now with a love so great and a God so big, who then could see a broken heart? Yes, I know He could. But I couldn’t anymore!

Thinking that when all His love moves in, every part of me is turning into completeness.

I believe that the One who made the heart is the only One who could fix it, and yes, He is the Creator, our God Almighty.

“Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father’.”

Galatians 4:6

So whenever the fragments try to wound me, I go back to His love and surrender it all to Him. He bathes my soul with buckets of love! He offered me a full life more than any earthly father ever could!

In His love, I wear my crown!

I am a child of the One and only God!

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

1 John 1:31

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*The Father Who Gives Good Gifts

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