Paul Nickerson
Aug 8, 2017 · 5 min read

The 4am Anxieties of a Small Business Owner

There’s nothing like running your own business, no boss, unlimited freedom and the power to create great work.

It’s really good. Except at 4am, the witching hour. Lying awake as your negative thoughts, doubts and self loathing all land on you at once. Thought after thought, generally of the negative kind, leave you anxious before you’re even out of bed.

What is it about this silent time when the dark side of the brain runs wild with counter attack after counter attack on your hard-earned confidence?

Not only must the sufferer endure these thoughts, they must do so at the expense of badly needed sleep.

Just for fun (and a bit of awareness raising) I’ve decided to list my exact random thought process from earlier this morning. This is how it went:

> 4am(ish) sudden wake from baby crying

> Go in and tuck down baby

> Go back to bed

> Can’t sleep

Random thoughts kick in:

I didn’t ask the accountant for my VAT bill

I bet its massive, and I’v not put enough aside — thats going to be a nightmare

How many months ahead are we clear before I have to panic?

What kind of business owner works like this ?

I should do better on the admin side, when do I have time?

I should get someone into help

Don’t be stupid you can’t justify the cost — just try and make more time you lazy heffa

That reminds me, I said I’d take my little boy to soft play today — I can’t, I’m just too busy. I’m a crap dad.

A crap dad and a lazy heffa

How do you spell h-e-f-f-a?

Is it short for heffa-lump?

Heffalump

God, I’m tired from working last night. If I was more efficient I’d get everything done in normal hours

Im so tired

Didn’t I see something online about sleep deprivation been the number one cause of heart attacks in adults?

Roald Dahl slept in till 10 o’clock, worked 2 hours then had a gin lunch. How did he do that and be so successful?

How do my friends all find time to watch box sets and be successful? I’ve never watched one

I’m crap at running a business and I have no time for box sets — or anything

Do I have a call with the developers this morning or was that yesterday and I forgot?

Where’s my phone?

The admin person could sort all this if I had one

I bet my web project is going to fail. The client will be severely pissed off and not pay, then we’ll have even less cash — might as well close the business

If you go bankrupt can they take your house? What about your car?

If we did go bankrupt and had to move, everyone would say I told you so.

What kind of role model will I be for my little boy?

I was never any good at business. I know that now this project is going to fail

I cant believe I can’t sleep

I’m hot, its really muggy in here, there’s no air

That other company’s website is so much better than ours

I bet they have loads of clients and reoccurring revenue and loads of time to market

When did I even do any marketing? I’m a marketing agency that doesn’t market itself, Jesus I am crap at this

What am I good at?

I wonder if it’s too late to just do something like woodwork. John Goodlaw from sixth form makes furniture and he’s really doing well.

I’d probably end up failing at that as well

Maybe I should try and write a book

I’m so tired

I wonder if I can get back to sleep

> 1 hour later

Nope

> Much later in the office

What was all that about this morning. Im such a worrier.

I know, Ill write an article later about it, might help. Wonder if anyone else is like this?

Maybe I drink too much coffee?

The rest of the day has actually been positive and productive. I got a lot done. I got the VAT sorted, walked the dog, took my little boy to soft play so my wife could have a rest (She’s 8 month pregnant) and talked to potential new clients. The project I convinced myself is doomed to fail is fine. I still haven’t watched any box sets. Do people really watch series after series?

Overcoming Night Time Anxiety

If you suffer anything similar to this, you’re not alone.As well as, erm, me. The British Sleep Survey https://www.greatbritishsleepsurvey.com/ recently found over 40% of adults suffer from sleep disorders that related to some form of night time anxiety.

I own a business, but early morning anxiety can affect anyone whether they work or not. If they own a business or work in an art gallery. Its a human condition.

Some home remedies which often help me:

Understand these thoughts are normal and you’re not alone.

Part of being human is acknowledging these voices in our heads and calling them out for what they are. Like the voice that tells me I’m not good enough. I need to say to that voice: ‘You’re just a negative thought, you have no substance, no form and no right to be here’ — Sod off.

Deep breathing — here is the easy to follow guide from the good old NHS website: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/ways-relieve-stress.aspx

Get up and work — If there is something specific that you need to do, then if all else fails you can always get up and do it.

Have an exit plan. If bed is a place of anxiety, sometimes having a place somewhere else in the house you can go, switch on a lamp and read a book (just for fun) can be helpful. Even just 15 mins of reading can make you relaxed and more sleepy and ready to get back into bed for a bit longer.

Talk. If you have a parter. Wait until a good time and discuss how you feel at that time in the morning and anything they can do to give you comfort.

General health — Goes without saying this one. I drink too much coffee and booze and I know that makes early morning anxiety worse. Kick the habits, exercise more and reap the benefits.

Smile- Smiling releases endorphins, try it lying there in bed.

Remember — you’re a great business person. Anyway, as someone used to say to me ‘Its not about what you do, its about who you are that counts’.

If you ever want a chat about business, mental health or anything in between, get in touch anytime paul@nickersonco.co.uk

Paul Nickerson

Paul Nickerson

Written by

MD at Nickerson & Co. None Exec Director of PHASE CIC. Digital Consultant, Ecommerce, SEO, PPC. Mental Health Campaigner, Blogger, Dad. Terrible Cook.

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