Paulo Machado
Aug 8, 2017 · 2 min read

Mmmm. A woman shouldn’t wear a Hajib in a sci-fi movie? “A bridge officer wearing a hijab would make about as much sense as Captain Kirk (Shatner or Pine) wielding a Beretta 9mm in place of his phaser”. Right on, brother! Yes, that’s what I’m talking about, I’m right with you on that one. Let me help a bro out, and point out two more, ahem, inconsistencies. There are many others, but these two really get me.

(1) Everybody speaks English1 Come on! Even those pesky Klingons are able to munch out a little of the el Inglés! Shouldn’t they at least speak Mexicano? I-talian? I mean, it would give them a leetle more credibility, don’t you think?

(2) Imagine those dumb-ass HR morons from the United Federation of Planets having a meeting to discuss the few candidates for the helm of the USS Enterprise (it has got be only a few, right?)

HR Moron 1: Well, we need someone who’s culturally sensitive (Ha!), someone who wouldn’t dream of brandishing and waiving his 9mm Beretta in the face of danger, especially when dealing with the, hmmm, less-privileged el-Alienos, you know, those who have very little el-Inglés?

HR Moron 2: Well, we have this relic applying for the job. He’s the prototypical American Cowboy — an individualist through and through, who operates “from the gut”, and does things his way, especially when he feels he’ll annoy the powers that be. And he just loooves his taser!

HR Moron 1: That’s our man! We need to loosen up the old patriarchy a bit, and add some yang to this sauce, you feel me? I know it’s a multi-billion rubles ship and everything, but we don’t want no square for this job. But who’s going to be his Tonto? I’d like someone with pointed ears, you know, to throw in a little diversity…

    Paulo Machado

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