The practice of ‘choosing the now’

Today is Saturday.

Another day. Lawns to mow, errands to run. Washing to do. Work to finish. Places to be, and people to see. We’re all busy. Slammed. Hectic.

And yet, this Saturday is the only one of its kind that you’ll ever get.

Today will never occur again.

Perhaps you’ll sit on the sofa and read a book. Or work from a cafe. Or do a workout class. Or play with your kids. Or go for a hike. Or walk around the shops. Or write a long Facebook post. There’s no right or wrong thing to do with this Saturday.

Whatever you choose, take your time to be fully present.

Pause long enough to look around at this moment in time. The people in your life, your body, your community, the weather, your environment, and your mental space. This arrangement and configuration won’t ever be the same again.

Things change constantly, despite how hard we try to keep them consistently the same. We can maintain to a point, but the ground is always moving. We keep talking about tomorrow like it’s guaranteed for each of us.

Neighborhoods change. People move. Chapters end. Things wear down. Bodies change. People and pets grow older and succumb to mother earth.

All those times we are consciously in the moment with someone, we feel a sense of love and gratitude for the experience, because there’s a part of us that knows it will unlikely occur that way again, no matter how hard we try.

It’s why gratitude as a practice isn’t about woo-woo or being all mushy. It’s not for girls, or emotional types.

Gratitude is about stopping our manic minds long enough to say thank you for being able to be in that moment. To honor others for who they are and where they’re at, and to remember that these fleeting moments are all we ever have — and we get to choose our experience in each one.

Gratitude is an access to being fully present.


I’ve spent my life trying to maintain an image, an ego, and a manufactured sense of right and wrong. Always trying to get somewhere, or get something, because where I was and what I had wasn’t enough.

My ego had me wear certain clothes, drive a certain car, make my house look a certain way, keep certain friends, and do certain things in my career, because I chose that random definition of ‘good enough.’

More often than not, my choices weren’t based from a space of knowing that I’m enough, but rather the fear that I wasn’t enough. It was largely informed by the world around me, and thus doing what I thought I could be accepted and loved for.

In the pursuit of ‘more’, happiness, fulfillment, and ‘being ready for x’, so much has changed before my eyes. So much has passed me by, and so much has transformed in both me, and others.

The passage of time yields everything. Our greatest achievements, mastery, and inner peace. Also our greatest pains, sorrows, and regrets. We think more time will heal wounds, yet we never have as much as we think.

We choose to be stuck in a moment of time, as much as we choose to spend it suffering. We choose to be right and judgmental, instead of to just love.

We talk about time in such an academic and professional manner, despite most of us having no mastery around its power and perspective. Not at least until we are faced with the reality of its limited balance, and for most by then, most are already flirting with bankruptcy.

I know many won’t read this post fully, because there’s so many other distractions and things to pull our attention away from the present moment. And that’s ok.

I just hope that you, me, and the rest of humanity aren’t so busy trying to be somewhere in the future while re-living the past, that we forget to be in the now.

Always trying to abbreviate life to cram more in; reducing the savoring of any moment into a efficiently packaged pill, simply so we can get to the next pill.

My greatest regrets aren’t things I didn’t buy or failed to achieve. My deepest regrets are the times I chose to avoid the present moment out of fear or ego, only to soon discover that I missed a significant opportunity to be closer to those whom I love.


This year has been one of the most challenging I’ve faced. It’s been a brutal year of remembering that the people in my life are all I have, and truly want, while also choosing my experience for my own limited life.

For the most part, some key friendships and my practice of mindfulness, choosing the now, and gratitude have helped me to keep my attention on what’s in front of me right now, rather than beating myself up about the past, or feeling anxious about the future. It’s definitely been a conscious practice though — it’s not always easy.

The last 24 hours have hit me particularly hard. Some people I love dearly and deeply, are now facing an accelerated reality we will all encounter one day.

It’s in these moments (getting a call from my cousin as I was updating a profile bio) when we are abruptly reminded of our mortality, we are also reminded of our humanity. We remember what’s really important. What we actually want to prioritize if we let go of our attachment to everything else that gets in the way of what we want to feel in life.

Deep down where the truth lives, I couldn’t care less about that new car, what people think of me, or the need to prove myself to anyone.

In my truth, I don’t need people to believe me or require me convince them of anything.

In my truth, I am simply committed to being bold and resolute in every aspect of my life, and to simply inspire others to choose the same for themselves.

Bold & Resolute is not some random company, product, or a service — it’s an emblem for who I’m choosing to be. An emblem for consciously choosing the now. An emblem for telling your whole truth, and remembering that the circumstances are not who we are.


Despite the shock of any news, we inevitably drift back into the drama, fear, lies, and mindlessness of shit that really doesn’t matter.

We don’t default intentionally, but because it’s unconscious.

We default because we don’t consciously practice the telling of our whole truth, nor do we practice choosing the now. We don’t have the muscle around it, so it’s little wonder we suffer in the past and future.

To choose the now, to choose the feelings we feel, and to experience them fully requires us to seek consciously from deeply within. That place we avoid because we’re too scared to look. And then we must constantly practice this work, especially when it feels impossible to do so, or socially justifiable not to.

We all know our burning truth, despite how sophisticated we are at avoiding or hiding it. We know the things we keep buried inside, only to tell that whole truth when someone or something ends — and it’s too late.

Why wait? Tell it now. Don’t be proud, don’t assume people know, or get caught up in some idea that it’s sappy, weak, silly, or unprofessional to honor your feelings. Don’t assume there’s ‘later’ or ‘tomorrow’.

If you love someone, tell them.
If you are scared, say so.
If you are unsure, say so.
If you have an idea, speak up.
If you are confused, ask for help.

The truth sets us free because we all inherently know that it’s far more rewarding to be rejected for living our truth, than accepted for living a lie.

I’m heartbroken not because life and death should be any other way.

I’m heartbroken because despite how much I practice for myself, I sometimes feel like I’m not enough to help others (especially those closest to me) to pause long enough so they can tell their loving truth, instead of their fearful lie.

I’m practicing being okay when people choose their suffering, but it’s not easy. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can choose.

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Pauly is the Chief Cultural Officer & Co-Founder of Bold&Resolute, a movement dedicated to helping people be BOLD to tell the whole truth about who they are and what they want from life, and RESOLUTE to see it through despite the circumstances.

Follow Pauly Ting or Bold&Resolute, on Facebook for more updates.

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Be BOLD to tell the whole truth about who you are and what you want from life, and RESOLUTE to see it through despite the circumstances.

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