Software Engineering in 3 words
Try it now
That was unexpected
I changed nothing
It worked before
Works for me
Worked last time
It worked yesterday
Working on local
Worked in staging
Works as intended
Cannot reproduce this
Should work now
This shouldn’t work
Hope this works!
Is it working?
Feature not bug
Off by one error
Think before coding
Write more code
Decompose into modules
Write less code
Don’t repeat yourself
Goto considered harmful
Code is data
One more abstraction
That’ll be easy
Oh my bad
Who wrote this?
For historical reasons
Original developer quit
Not invented here
I’ll be back
Test in production
Check the logs
NullPointerException
That won’t happen
Should never happen
Did it happen?
Never happened before
Try Catch Finally
Add more memory
Temporary work around
git reset --hard
TODO: fix this
TODO: handle exception
TODO: write tests
Fix it later
Reinstall the dependencies
Just google it
Check Stack Overflow
Copy and Paste
Let’s rewrite it
Don’t do that
Let’s fix bugs
Well it depends
echo "hello world"
Keep it simple
Minimum Viable Product
Perfect never ships
Good beats perfect
Good enough software
Waiting to build
Let me check
Broke it again
Still not done
Tests are green
We have liftoff
Try restarting it
