Cyber battle of idiots.

Me and APT-28 Fancy Bear.

Why do you think Mr. Trump waged a war on media, and basically suggested burning them all in hell, hopefully torturing them all first?

Right, that’s because there is no place for them in the time of Tesla and Blockchain, some of them are truly stuck in the past. Just as old horses who can’t learn any new tricks. Just to give you an example, today I open up Kommersant, Russia’s major newspaper, and on the front page I see an excellent piece by Maria Kolomychenko about the complexity of attribution of Russian cyberattacks against USA. And it’s so excellent that everything and everyone is in fact excellent in that piece, every expert mentioned by the reporter is of course Russian and except for Mr. Lukatsky nobody in Russia has ever heard of those guys. Excellent also is the date when it came out — about 7 years later than it should be. Just as excellent as the general idea of the article, that basically nobody can prove anything as I quote “someone may have stolen the computer used in the attack” — an idea which is out there say for the last 15 years. But hey, Kommersant finally woke up. It never occurred to the reporter though, that in fact most of facts highlighted by the media in USA about Russia’s meddling in the elections have been questioned above all by foreign experts themselves, such as Jeffrey Carr or Root9B or Wordpress or many many more names people have at least heard of. And it would have made much more sense to talk to those guys, guys who at least do something reasonable to stop their own country losing faith in elections completely. Anyways, hopefully the Motherland’s reputation is now finally saved and the reporter will get a promotion and likely even a certificate of merit signed by The Director.

One would think this is just a Russian national issue. Sad KGB past. Oh no, it’s not.

Just as the ingenious Kommersant piece was getting published, the day before it, America’s most famous cyber sleuth brain was obviously already lurking in the shadows of investigation & research. And it’s just as it should be, because Americans are always one step ahead! Mr. B. Krebs published yesterday a no less ingenious and excellent piece whose title alone would say all there needs to be said — “Why so many top hackers hail from Russia?”, which I say was probably the most effective counter information attack against Kommersant propaganda I have ever seen. Now the reporter’s dream may finally come true, that his very own name will finally be printed on the wall of some agency somewhere in America. Obviously, Mr. Krebs never had any doubts that Russians hackers are the best, therefore the only question of interest remaining was why did it happen.

Reading both of these publications gives a man like me the feeling one may get when you watch some sort of circus show of freaks in slow motion. It’s like classical music — it flows in you. It’s the vision which I get so clear as its right in front of my eyes, here they are — ancient nearly dead information warriors still loyal to their ancient cyber-tzars standing brave in front of each other waving “you won’t prove anything” versus “Russian hackers are the best”. No one left behind! (Since behind is salary & promotion).

Now, I am firmly against violence. Is there any way we can get rid of them all or at least have them write in one magazine of their own? Just for the sake of us not reading them?

UPDATED : It turns out I missed that the original publication of Maria had whole 3 pages, not just one. Predictably the second was a page long interview of someone I never heard of. The third page was an interview with the chief expert of Russia’s main antivirus company, who’s boss recently complained that he had always felt pressure in USA because of Russian hackers. A friend of mine, who happens to be a relative of the infamous Academician Sakharov, inventor of the thermonuclear bomb, commented it the following way: “Now that’s weird, I always thought they were pressured because of their KGB affiliation, not hackers”. Nuff said. -))

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