Advice my 25 year old wants to give to my 20 year old self

Click bait headline but honest advice

First of all 20 year old me, no offense you were awesome. And please don’t judge me for choosing such a cliche click bait heading.

What can i say these kind of titles still work in 2016. But I know that you will understand that a brother has got to make a living.

I think my first advice would be to not take advice so seriously, learn from your own experiences.

Its all about finding your path.

I just want to outline what kind of experiences you should have.

  1. Fix internal goals and not just external goals- Not only look forward to achieving external goals like running a awesome company or being rich but internal qualities as well. Last year I started working on these goals and I must say the result has been tremendous. Try taking some of them on yourself also.

Try to be more vulnerable

Actively try to face your fears

Step out of your comfort zone

Decrease your ego

The better you get a person, there will be a simultaneous change in what you want to achieve and your skill set to achieve the same.

2. Learn how to travel — Not just travel to go around and see the world. But try to understand the world. Try to understand why things are the way they are. Meet new people , get in touch with new ideas. Understand how people fund their passions, make stuff work somehow and keep on trying to find something new stuff to love.

Don’t become just a tourist and also not use traveling as a excuse when all you want to do is get away from every day life.

When you truly learn to travel you will go out to get more awesomeness into your every day life.

Don’t be that guy!!

3. Don’t take what you believe so seriously, you can change — Your values keep on changing. When in discussions with other people don’t try too hard to defend your values.

You think you are all accepting and completely rational when it comes to discussion. Trust me, no body is , if you are then you have probably achieved nirvana.

Rather try to adopt new values and keep on changing them all the time. Everyone has a opinion because of the experiences they have had in their life same as you. Don’t try to focus on opinions as something that is rigid. Trust me even yours will change in the next coming of years.

If you are trying to fight a battle of wits over opinions, take a look back and see if you are not doing so just because of your ego.

4. Find and value freedom — Try to be free and maintain your flexibility. Run away from debt. No need to get locked early on your life. If you loose your freedom to change your direction in your 20’s this mean that you are basically fucked.

5. Don’t give a fuck of what people think about you — Learn not to care too much about what people will think about you. Trust me you will feel more at ease and will be able to do whatever you want to do.

Not giving a fuck doesn’t mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.

From my own experience the more comfortable you get in your own skin, the more you start loosing that awkwardness when you are in a situation where you have to impress someone. If you have decided you are going to be yourself what difference it makes if you are in front of a hot girl or a crowd.

Here are some other articles you can do read on the same topic that have helped me along the way.

6. Have the courage to choose both love and suffering — Don’t be scared of falling down. Love and suffering are like the two sides of the same coin. If you built yourself so that you can take the pain, you can also love with a fierce passion.

Never try to love a person or a object halfheartedly. Read this poem by Kahlil Gibran when in doubt.

7. Have eyes that shine — I told you earlier to not be rigid about your opinions. Keep on changing. But when you try something new, give it all you have. Do it like, it is the last thing you do before you die.

To test if you are on the right track look into your eyes. Are they shining or aren’t they.

I think no body can explain this point better than Benjamin Zander does in his famous ted video.

8. Understand the power of ideas — Ideas are everything. See how the idea of democracy changed the world. Similarly we get in touch with so many ideas in our lives and each idea has the power to bring a fundamental shift in you. That’s why books are so powerful because they bring into your life new ideas.

Not only read ideas but try to come up with your own ideas. If you there something that you can contribute to the world, it is ideas.

Question everything and try to come up with better ideas on how to impact somebody’s life.

Personally ideas originating from meditation such as equanimity and understanding the impermanence of everything have had a great impact on my life.

Embrace new ideas and see where they take you.

9. Don’t be a slave of stuff you own and want to own — Don’t be a capitalistic moron. Who wants an Iphone 4 then Iphone 5 then 5s then 6 then 6s. Have a phone though, don’t take things to far.

We think we own stuff but then they end up owning us, Have enough that allows you to be in the civilized world but that’s about it. Don’t go overboard. Save money, you will need it.

Buying stuff means basically your trading your time for a object. The less stuff you need the more time you safe. And this time can go towards making you a better person and fueling your passions.

I think a good way of putting this into effect is distancing yourself from the media. If you are constantly in touch with media telling you that in order to be cool you need to own this stuff, then you will probably believe it. So, more living less watching others live in a TV.

10. Be a gambler — Take risks, Want to leave that job go ahead do it. Yes you are going to struggle a bit but eventually it will help you to see the world.

This is what happened when i quit my job, I struggled initially. But eventually the time I saved from not working on a job that I didn’t like helped me to actually find what i liked and explore more in life.

The more risks you take, the lesser you fear the unknown.

11. Don’t be singular — Again have your passions and purpose. But don’t just associate with one thing. Their are so many things that you can do things. Keep on trying different stuff. It is not about loosing one thing but gaining everything.

A good sign of this would be how many new people are coming into your life. If you keep on hanging with the same people, you will most probably encounter the same ideas. It will be more about agree with the same stuff and feel good about the social acceptance that you get rather than growing.

12. Meditate and learn about eastern mysticism- I think meditation is a very important skill you must have in order to master your mind. Once you have mastered your own mind, you can then go and master the whole world.

If your mind is stuck in its own thoughts and insecurities then it can never see what makes the world go around.

But trust me meditation work in a less dramatic setting

In case you are looking to create a meditation habit, here are some article that i recommend, feel free to leave your suggestion as well.

Let me know guys what you think about the blog post in the comment, i would love to hear about my mindset. I am also iterating on it. Do recommend the post nonetheless. Follow me on twitter @pavtiwana .

P.S — I work on a startup to share/ discover board of less than 10 links that solve a problem or do something amazing, http://knowledgemaps.org/. Why reinvent the wheel when someone has already figured it out. We feel you can rather add your suggestions to make it even more better.