I’m just starting out. Bam! Right here, I did it. It is something I have been wanting to do, but can never seem to figure out how to start, what exactly I’m starting, and so on and so forth. Can you relate? Do you have that one thing you want to do, an idea that you would like to spin, a dream job that just seems so out of reach? Trust me I feel you, I know you, I AM you. So now that you know that we are one in the same, I should probably introduce myself. My name is Prairie…. Yes like Little House on the Prairie, and I am originally from Kansas…Yes like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Now that we have the initial, most prevalently stated jokes out of the way (you would be surprised at how many people I encounter that think those jokes are original), a little more about me.
I’m adopted, I’m a military wife, a mother of two boys, and a mental health clinician who thinks animals and nature are the best therapists. I’m an animal lover and owner, I’m incredibly biased towards schnauzers, love riding my horses, and hope one day to have ducks and silkie chickens. Those are all stories for another day, but I’m trying to help you get a picture in your mind.
Back to just going for it. It. Is. Scary. I’m sitting here literally writing this and I’m picturing positive thoughts in my head of this not being what it is right now (a word document covered with little green and red squiggles screaming how I’m not a writer!!), but on a beautifully constructed web page with posts and posts and posts that have followers upon followers upon followers and this is helping someone, somewhere! I picture looking back on this post and laughing about how terrifying it was just to start the process. But here it is. Why have I held back for so long?
Well I can actually answer that question pretty simply. I suffer from that lovely thing we call in the clinical world “negative self-talk”. Even if you have never heard of it, I am sure you can deduce what it is. For me, I get these ideas and I get excited about it and want to offer to you what I have picked up through the years of living in 9 different states in the last 10 years, having a child 10 days before my husband’s first deployment to Afghanistan, finding a way to have a career through that, putting my career to the side to support the family, picking it back up again…. I have a lot of stories to tell and support to offer and I want to share with you what the world has revealed to me thus far. But in comes that voice saying “Where are you going to start?”, “How are you going to start?”, “Who gives a damn what you have to say?”. Well I can tell you honestly that I don’t know, but I have to try. I have to start somewhere. Our lives are constant journeys. We stick to one place and become comfortable, and then never pursue that dream or crazy idea that we have because we don’t know where to start or how to begin.
Just start. If we think we need to hash out all the details before we begin, we will never get there. I’m taking a chance on me today. Will you take a chance on you? What does that look like? What are you doing? Don’t ask yourself how to get there. I have been doing that for years. Just start. Pick up the paint brush and start painting. Start that novel you always wanted to start. Do it fearlessly. It might be messy (this very first post, case in point), but it is a start. A building block. Start with me. Let’s do this together and make a beautiful mess.
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