Dear Fear of Flying: You Really Suck
[July 12th, 2018. Four Hours away from Burlington, VT]
To My Dear Fear Of Flying,
How are you doing? How’s the wife? Hope the kids are doing well.
Oh, I’m just stuck in a 6-hour bus ride from Boston to Vermont (instead of the 30 min plane ride) next to a very pungent seatmate whose hygiene is similar to that of a New York’s rat.
You know, the usual.
Remember the last time we saw each other?
It was on our trip to Atlanta one year ago, when the weather forecast told us there was going to be a flash rain storm right when our plane was scheduled to take off, and I had a panic attack the whole drive to the airport, remember?
I do. But hey, we had tons of fun that day, right?! Like when we had to explain to that TSA agent that those pills weren’t illegal and that I needed them, but he didn’t care because the label on the bottle was too faded to read so he decided to throw them in trash.
I wonder what that guy is doing now. Probably taking away someone’s heart medication in fear of the having a potential letting the next Pablo Escobar board a plane, who knows.
I haven’t bought a return ticket to Boston yet, so maybe this time will be different, huh? I heard JetBlue got some good deals lately.
Wish me luck 😃
[July 30th, 2018. Five hours to Boston, MA]
To My Fear Of Flying,
You couldn’t resist, huh?
We were soooo close man!
We were calm, we were confident, THERE ACTUALLY WAS A SALE ON THE JETBLUE TICKETS.
I even made plans to go out with a couple of friends to Downtown Boston , but nah. I knew it was too good to be true.
It’s all good though, I like being crammed into a tiny space with a bag of chips for lunch, I can’t think of a better way of spending my summer. Look! The person in front of me is watching Game Of Thrones on his Ipad, I think I can see 1/10th of what’s happening through the gap between the seats. Who said you can’t have fun on a bus!
Maybe it’s for the better, plane tickets are too expensive anyways. With the money I saved I can probably cover 0.001% of my tuition, this is a “win-win” situation if you think about it.
But hey, no hard feelings. There is nothing else I can do now but to relax, munch on some chips, and enjoy the rest of the 4-hour ride.
[July 30th, 2018. In The Middle of God Knows Where, VT. Next to a bus with an engine failure.]
I wish you would fuck off.
It would make my life so much easier. Vacations wouldn’t be limited to where a bus or a train could take me, I could go anywhere.
I wouldn’t have to depend on chugging cocktails or pills before a flight to get my shit together, traveling would actually be enjoyable for once. Whats the big deal with you anyways!?
Can’t handle a little turbulence? Are you afraid of not being in control? Do you think your plane will be the 1-In-5,000,000 to get downed by a engine failure?
News flash! It is safer to be on a lane than on the road! I know you have read this statistic before.
…But it’s ok.
Because very soon I will be laughing that I ever was afraid of flying. I will forget I ever had a problem getting into a plane.
I promise you.
Thanks for reading!
You see that button over there with the 👏 symbol? Every time you tap it I do a back flip.