15 Reasons Trump Won’t Debate Hillary

Image by Gage Skidmore
  1. Making sure white lives still matter.
  2. Entering bulking phase of hand fitness routine.
  3. Big fan of whichever NFL team will be playing that day.
  4. Has dinner with brother-in-arms John McCain that day.
  5. Has dinner with platonic daughter Ivanka that day.
  6. Has dinner with good friend Ghazala Khan that day.
  7. Filing bankruptcy (To restructure his business. You wouldn’t understand).
  8. He totally would, but Hillary’s scared.
  9. Too busy making America great.
  10. Hair appointment.
  11. Shopping for next wife.
  12. Taking polysci class at NYU.
  13. Afraid that woeful lack of political knowledge will be exposed.
  14. Shooting The Apprentice: Presidential Edition.
  15. Needs to finish Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.