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The waiting game is a huge part of dating — waiting for texts back, waiting for a second date to be scheduled, etc. And during that time I often come up with pretty interesting ideas for someone’s silence. Let’s just say anxiety is a bitch, and she takes my mind to crazy places including some of the below which bubbled up immediately after a recent second date.

  1. I invited him to my apartment on the second date. Did he say he liked me? Yes. Did he say we could take it slow? Yes. …

I say my “guilty pleasure” is chocolate peanut butter chip ice cream, but really, it’s bigger than that — it’s my desperate need to hold on to my discount at the local ice cream store.

While I worked at the ice cream store in high school, I’m pretty sure my discount still exists because, let’s call him Fred, my ice cream man, thinks I’m cute — and of course, I milk it for all it’s worth.

I get ice cream for my family, friends, cat, you name it. I call Fred when there are bugs in my apartment I’m too afraid to kill, and he always comes in 5 minutes or less (you can’t even get an ambulance that fast — you know, for when you faint in fear of being so close to a New York City roach). …