These 4 Actions Will Make You Better at Parenting Food
If you want to raise a healthy kid, you need to pay attention to how you parent food.
When my kids were young, to say things were chaotic would be an understatement. I had four kids under the age of five and my fortitude during those years was built on both naivete and structure. On many days, I flew by the seat of my pants. I didn’t know what I was doing. On other days, I carried us through with routines and activities.
Those structured, planned days were the best days. For all of us. I was at my best as a parent, and my kids were pleasant to be around.
Over my years of working with families, I’ve encouraged structure, routines and plans, especially for parents as they feed their kids. I think parenting food is easier when there’s a strategy and system in place.
Wait. What Is Food Parenting?
Food parenting is how you feed your child, from the structure you set up around food and eating to the interactions that go on between you and your child at mealtimes. Food parenting shapes your child’s relationship with food, including his attitudes, eating habits, and knowledge of nutrition.
You’ve probably heard a lot of advice about food: How to get the right amounts, how to make sure it’s healthy, and how to get your kid to eat it. But there’s another aspect about feeding kids that places the focus on food parenting. Getting on top of this concept is a worthy endeavor. It will make feeding your child easier.
Good food parenting makes it easier to feed kids.
4 Actions You Can Take to Become a Better Food Parent
I’m sharing 4 steps you can take today to be better at food parenting. Feeding kids is a day-to-day, sometimes thankless job, so I hope these actions make things a bit easier.
1. Set Up a Routine for Meals and Snacks
I’m a big fan of schedules and a general rhythm to the day when it comes to feeding kids. Teachers, for example, believe that routines and structure may help kids learn and behave at their best. I believe the same goes for having a routine with feeding kids.
Regular times for meals and snacks offer a child predictability they can count on throughout their day. Your child can rely on the when of eating (or the timing) and where (location) meals and snacks will happen.
A routine with meals and snacks also helps your child regulate and recognize his appetite. When we schedule meals and snacks a few hours apart, it allows children to naturally build up an appetite. Alternatively, when kids graze or eat all day, they may not have a true sense of their appetite signals.
2. Place Boundaries on Eating and Food Choices (But Don’t Be Too Controlling)
Boundaries support good eating habits. They help children understand the structure in the home around eating and food access. Yet, saying “no” to an unscheduled snack or an extra treat can be one of the hardest things for a parent to do. But setting limits is a key part of good food parenting.
Parents can say “no” nicely, and it’s preferable to do so. For example, “We’re not having ice cream today, but we can have some later this week.” This response implies “No, not right now,” but there’s promise that the requested food will be available in the future.
Without food boundaries, access to food may be too liberal for children, allowing them to eat whatever they want and wherever they want to eat. That’s not good for establishing healthy eating habits or health.
How parents feed their kids and their food parenting skills shape a child’s eating habits, ability to self-regulate his eating, and the budding relationship to food.
3. Allow Your Child to Make Food Choices within Reason
When there’s too many food choices, it’s harder to make a decision. This is especially true for children. As parents, we shouldn’t give our kids complete control over food. Some kids are overwhelmed with open access and unlimited choices and may not make healthy decisions that serve them well. This is where guiding their choices can be helpful.
For young children, I suggest offering two food options from which to choose. For example, toast or cereal. Older kids can handle a few more options, but they can get overwhelmed, too. Keep it contained and reasonable, such as toast or cereal or pancakes. Guiding your child’s food options allows him to make an easy choice, without overwhelm.
4. Let Your Child DIY
At the end of the day, many parents want children to be able to choose healthy foods on their own. To be able to eat well and support their health into adulthood. And, to have a good relationship with food so they can enjoy life without hang-ups about eating.
If this is your goal, you need to embrace the idea of building autonomy with eating. This means allowing your child to be involved in the decisions about food. This doesn’t mean giving your child complete control of these decisions, rather, it means hearing his suggestions and allowing input.
For instance, let your child make his own snack or breakfast using the food options you’ve decided upon. Allow him to serve himself at mealtime, and nix pre-plating his food. Last, let your child learn about food on his terms, not yours.
Sharpen Your Food Parenting Skills and Raise a Good Eater
There’s so much more to food parenting than just serving up healthy food and getting your kid to eat it. Over the last two decades, the research in this area is exploding. How parents feed their kids and their food parenting skills shape a child’s eating habits, ability to self-regulate his eating, and the budding relationship to food.
There’s a lot to learn. If you want to raise a good eater and a healthy child, you need to nail food parenting. Which step will you take first?
