This post is rather sad and I’m so sorry you had to feel hated by your mother, you are very brave for putting this out there. It reminds me of a line in the song Savages by Marina and the Diamonds that reads “I’m not afraid of God, I am afraid of man”. I respect everyone else’s freedom to believe what it is they want and I also believe in God, I do wish others could see a much kinder God different from the actions of humans who pledge allegiance to God. There are those who believe in God and go about killing others and others are willing to die for others, the problem isn’t God, the problem is man. We have freewill and God doesn’t interfere with that, so you’ll always see bad things happen and have people do bad things whether or not they believe in God. Religion is the basis of all morality, altruism and kindness, the law of nature knows no such things, it is selfish, God introduces love. So it’s people that are bad not God, imagine if God controlled us all like robots, then God would be bad if somehow one of us broke from that control and realised what was going on, instead we have freewill that’s fair and kind, but hey humans aren’t perfect and we all mess up one way or another at some point. It’s unfortunate you had to go through all of that emotional hardship, I hope you can find love and healing, and maybe God in a new light, if you so choose. Abby Norman