It’s hard to love today.

It’s hard to love today.

When so much tells us not to. When so much tells us, its probably easier and safer not to. It’s almost as if there is so much less to lose in the absence of love.

Yesterday as I was rushing to meet a friend at the gym, I cut across a heard of speedy pedestrians near grand central station. As I turned to get to the subway I felt two hands grab my bag and shove, hard. I looked up to get a glimpse of the man who had the nerve to put his hands on me. I saw a face that was so disgusted and angered by me. I yelled ‘what the hell’, he curled his lip and threw his trash at me. He yelled back, ‘fucking immigrant’.

The day before, my partner was followed around a Best Buy by an older woman who didn’t ‘feel safe’ because she was Arab.

Today was Eid. As a kid I remember planning to go to as many Eid dinners as I could muster just to eat as much biriyani a girl could muster. I remember being mindful of helping out my Muslim friends at school because they couldn’t drink water all day.

Today was Eid. Alton Sterling was killed. Dylan Roof might get dismissed. There are always extra NYPD at the 125th 1 train stop in harlem. Never any at 116.

It is really hard to love today. To be okay today. To forgive each other today.

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