What a great piece. The whole ‘Working Parents’ conversation is eye-opening.

My daughter was also born in my second year at (UK) university. She is an absolute joy, but she changed everything. In the intervening six years there have been moments where my (now) wife and I have been tempted to envy our friends and colleagues ‘climbing the career ladder’.

So when I launched my own business last year — a much smaller fish, but with all the same fears — I had to think carefully about what would constitute success. As the primary caregiver to our daughter and her little brother, business success for me was based around earning enough in my ‘work time’ to facilitate my ‘home time’. No 60-hour weeks, no missing school plays, no answering emails during bath time.

I don’t always get it right, and have been blessed with an incredibly supportive wife (who has a real job), but for me working out how to define success holistically has been key in working out my business.

—

I also totally get what you’re saying about not being your ‘authentic self’. As a young father — and I know the struggle is amplified still further for women — I was wary of potential employers’ reactions, and was definitely the odd-one-out working in a tech startup. Now I’m older, (hopefully) wiser and self-employed I feel much more freedom to be authentic at work.