Star Sign — Comedy or Candor ?

My girlfriend has been sharing some hilariously ( but scarily truthful zodiac sign pictures) which list out a list of characters that belong to Scorpions or Leos . Look im like the next guy , do i want to believe we behave like a bunch of star signs in the sky ? yeah …old wives tales …

But then i totally believe websites that say that Scorpios (My Girlfriend / Humanoid) and Leos ( Fatso / OCD aka me) are the best suited zodiac sign. Yeah not old wives tales any more…

Naturally googling “star signs” and one click later , i ended up at this page

Creepy pictures of youth male (blonde hair) and Beautifully brunette female (Blind the way her eyes look) i associated my gf to all the scorpio attributes ( after reading gleefully that Leos represent Lions for real…prrr prrr)

Here is how i see my gf star sign :

Scorpio Strength Keywords:

  • Loyal — Fuck yeah
    - Passionate- “ Kill you with a rusty spoon motherfucker”
    - Resourceful- “If you dont come home in the next 30 minutes you wont see me for life”
    - Observant- “you are fat”
    - Dynamic- “This song bores me… next song” (under 15 seconds)

Scorpio Weakness Keywords:

  • Jealous- “Go and talk to insert some stupid girls name why are you talking to me?
    - Obsessive- “Note 5 — nothing else”
    - Suspicious- “i know you buba..i know when you are angry at me”
    - Manipulative- “behave nicely , i will send you my picture”
    - Unyielding- “ Wont unblock you till you learn your lesson” “fine cut yourself — i dont care”

Skimming over that short list i know it sounds comical … lets go further into the article

Scorpio and Independence:

Scorpios are fiercely independent — Independence is my gf middle name.

They are able to accomplish anything they put their mind to and they won’t give up. — “ 3 Kgs too fat… im not eating pizza”

They are perfectly suited to being on their own. They are not social butterflies like some other zodiac signs and some actually prefer to live on their own that way there is never any issue of who controls what at home, they like to be in control. — — -Umm remember all the articles i talked about how she doesnt need me to beg her to talk to her ? … .oh yeah … my gf can stay alone for days… (not really she would die if i was not there… but lets not tell her tat… im her biatch xoxo)

Dont forget — “Buba i dont feel like talking right now”

Scorpio and Friendship:

Relationships with Scorpio are always complicated, just like the person, their relationships are a series of extremes, they can even be downright moody for no apparent reason. — -hallelujah!! couldnt have said it better about the moods :D

Scorpios have an excellent memory and combined with an inability to let things go, they can hold a grudge against someone who did them harm forever, in fact a Scorpio rarely if never forgives and forgets. — — Agree with the grudge, she will remember and taunt you for 8 months … but whats that thing with remembering stuff :P … wait when my bday again ? (She remembers now .. love you :D )

They will even go as far as get vengeance on the person. On the other hand, they will always remember a kind gesture forever and repay it. Any kind selfless gesture done to a Scorpio will gain trust and respect which is extremely important to them in any relationship, either romantic or not. The best advice is to be honest with a Scorpio friend and in return, you will gain an amazing friend you will never forget and who will be loyal to you and never make false promises. — My gf hates vengeance (atleast she says so…but she always says “ Now we are even” ). She is an amazing friend… and fuck i do make promises that i dont keep on time (sorry peach :()

Their truthful and shocking sense of humor if different than that of any other zodiac sign and the Scorpio makes an amazing, powerful interesting friend that can be trusted. — — Yes her humor is shocking (sometimes she does laugh/snort hardest to her jokes) … Amazing / powerful and trustfull — couldn't have said it better.

Scorpio and Business:

Skipping this section … Business and saving money is for loosers anyways… My gf ..well read this line

they are very conservative about spending their money. — LOOOL . Unless its 3 lei and a baegel fuck saving ( again something thats changing..she is saving kinda)

Scorpios make excellent doctors, surgeons, scientists and leaders — Kudos Peach. you did choose right after (Note No fashion designers or makeup artists here)

Scorpio and Temperament:

Scorpios are extremely ambitious, persistent and determined which is shown through a power hungry, controlling attitude. Not in a stubborn sense however, because a Scorpio will work for what they want and control will justified reasons. — Ambitious.Check.Persistent(sometimes).Check.Determined(Hell yeah)Check. controlling attitude (as much as you say its not true my queen).Check. Not in a stubborn sense … umm again — in her head justified…to me so unjustified :P and totally stubborn … (and i aient even violent)

The rest of the paragraph i have no comments on …

Scorpio Deep Inside:

  • How would you know they never say —

“ I had a surgery”

Where ?

“ i will tell you when its time”

Scorpio in a Nutshell:

They are nuts :D :) and i love my nuts

What it’s Like to Date a Scorpio Woman:

Scorpio woman is very emotional, very demanding and very demonstrative. She is full of flair and intrigue, a fascinating woman that the strong A-type personality male will adore, for she presents the right amount of challenge with the right amount of rewards. — Perfect Match. I am “a” type of strong male..and she challenges me everyday :/ (i love it sometimes…but sometimes challenges are tortures so…u know ..:D)

The Scorpio woman is the ultimate seductive, flirtatious woman. She won’t give a man her heart very easily because she is weary of trusting another person. — Nope i earn that heart(I starve for greatness and the path to her heart is through a lot of things(mainly its my amazing face…but she says comedy…both the same )…fuck flirtatious she is full blown evil when flirting ( Remember V neck shirts and Good long conversations).

The man will have to go through a series of ‘mental testes’ in order for the relationship to get solid and close. She may not show it, but she wants a close committed relationship. — Mental Tortures — but i passed (yay or will i know after 30 ?? :/)

Ion order for this, the man has to be trusted, has to be affectionate and never try to control her. — Umm too late…been there fucked that.Hey what are mistakes for ?? Learnt my lesson. (did i mention that i love u like crazy peach..just incase u dwell on the past)

She is very possessive but the Scorpio woman is so full of mystery, sensuality and passion that most men do not mind being possessed by her. — — AMMEENNN!!

How to Attract Scorpio:

Pllease i have PHD in this area

Scorpio Erogenous Zone:

As long as its purple . COY face now.

Sex With Scorpio:

Is like a foursome with a black/purple dildo and separate from each other — The future i look for

Ok so time out. What did you understand ?

To be honest the article as long as it is doesnt even cover half of the characters my gf is..

She is compassionate , she is sweet , she is honest (white lies are white lies and nothing more) , she is beautiful and when her heart is in the right place she is amazing…

You certainly stung my heart with your scorpion tail my queen …Now where is that kiss ?

Te iubesc my everything.

p.s Since the article is really long — i do forgive you for getting distracted :D