Notes from Trump Conversion Camp

Penn Name
Penn Name
Aug 22, 2017 · 3 min read

It was another fine day at Camp Cherokee; a YMCA camp we rent for our 5 day intensive conversion therapy. As you may know we at the Church of Prohibere Trumpism are big advocates of conversion therapy. We believe that supporters of Donald Trump are not born that way. We believe that the erosion of our traditional American values such as compassion, equality and, you know, not assuming brown people are bad.

To this end, we host intensive, week long, sessions in hopes of helping disturbed individuals who have perverted beliefs about the poor and non-white. We hope that at the end of this week long session these once disgusting men realize the error of their ways and recommit themselves to acting like rational human beings.

Unfortunately there is a sense in the Pro-Trump community that they were born this way; that people should just accept who are without judgement.

The week is very structured and we numerous activities that are meant to help these perverted sick individuals see that their behavior is an affront to God. Here is just a sample of the things our campers get to do.

Lecture Series

Our campers get to take hear from some great speakers. We have African Americans who aren’t on welfare white Trump supporters who are on welfare. Mexican immigrants who aren’t rapists. At first they think we’re cherry picking but then we show them the line out the door. We also have this one Native American who just comes in and laughs at these bigots.

These Stupid Mother Fuckers.

Immersion Therapy

Thanks to the wonders of VR we are able to place our campers in situations in which they would never experience in their sad little racist lives. In the picture below we have Dave, a sales manager from Wyoming, riding a bus on the south side of Chicago and being stopped and frisked by 2 of Chicago’s finest.

Okay Dave, calm down.

Talk Therapy with Slapping

You’ve wanted to slap them. You know you have. Well at our camp our therapists get to. It’s in the waiver they signed. So we set them down with a therapist and just let them say what’s on their mind. When they say something racist or just plain stupid we slap them. This may seem harsh, and honestly we’re really sure about if there is any therapeutic value. But aren’t you a little glad these sad little men are being slapped.

So if someone you know is perverting the natural laws that were established by all that is decent in this world. Consider our camp. Also, if you know of any people of color like even just a little tan that would be great. We’re having serious diversity issues in our camp population.

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