Decluttering Is Not Just Organizing, It Is Freedom

How my experience with releasing stuff led to a better life.

I get it. We like things. We especially like our things. Old things, expensive things, unique artsy things, sentimental things. We’ve been socialized to value the collecting and ownership of things. Nobody captures the essence of this universal tendency like the ingenious, hilarious George Carlin — his bit on our ‘stuff’ will never get old.

I’m no exception. For many years I proudly grew my collection of stuff and pined for the next acquisition. The unspoken, unexamined goal was to have a big, beautiful house full of pretty, shiny things. My identity wasn’t solely defined by the house and nice things, but I acknowledge that it was a significant piece of it. More recently, I’ve significantly scaled back what I own and now lean towards the attitude of less is more, way more.

While we can build up our identity around things, our true essence has nothing to do with what we own (or think we own, as it were… queue the Pretenders… everything’s on loan here). When my decluttering journey started, it was not with the lofty intention of becoming a green minimalist or revealing my most authentic self, I just wanted to lighten things up. For some time, I had been feeling weighed down. Now that I’ve done it, however, I fully agree with others who have likened decluttering to the sculpting of a piece of art — you get to reveal who you really are without the burden of taking care of all that stuff. Perhaps not coincidentally, my paring-down project coincided with practicing more daily mindfulness and meditation, and it has been transformative.

It all started pre-pandemic when a friend hired a consultant who coached her through the process of decluttering her home. She spent thousands of dollars over several months overhauling her entire house. She was super enthusiastic about how her new organization was changing her life for the better and giving her time back. She lauded the benefits of tidying up, decluttering, and streamlining storage of things. She said that less stuff and more organization translated into less picking up and searching, more free time and peace of mind. It all made sense and I wanted those things, too (but without the cost of a consultant!).

My friend became a walking billboard for the organizing and tidying up guru Marie Kondo. She could recite all the benefits of tidying up, including:
• Less stuff = Less stress and anxiety
• Less clutter = More peace of mind, more time to do enjoyable things
• More order = Overall improved life, love for your space and things
• Fewer possessions = More intentional, mindful living and spending
• Minimized focus on accumulation = higher value on experiences > things

At that point in my life, I knew that I wanted to make some changes, but my direction was unclear. I took my friend’s positive experience to be the nudge I needed to give decluttering a go. Until that time, I had decades of weighty history in my accumulated stuff, which included countless old books, photos, art, toys, clothing, coats, furniture, fine china, kitchen tools, gadgets and gizmos and a plethora of inherited family “treasures.” Simply put, I had a normal amount of stuff (from an American perspective) which means I had a lot of stuff.

Over the course of a year, I managed to do the previously unthinkable. I decluttered and filtered through my home, detaching from the equivalent of truckloads of items. Decluttering resulted in everything my friend said, giving me an ineffable feeling of freedom. I somehow feel lighter, unshackled from the unending cycle of “more-ism” that tied me up for so long. While I can’t fully explain or understand how it works, releasing stuff has truly allowed me to open up to many new and creative ideas and experiences.

While I can’t fully explain or understand how it works, releasing stuff has truly allowed me to open up to many new and creative ideas and experiences.

There are lots of options for going about decluttering. There’s Marie Kondo’s prescribed method that my friend followed and a myriad of other ideas online. I found bemorewithless to be inspiring. My method is a personalized hybrid approach, involving microsteps and gamifying the process. For instance, one month I challenged myself to focus just 20 minutes per day on the project. Another time I targeted finding five things in five minutes in each room to give away. The most important element for me is consistency. Whether I spend 5 minutes or half a day decluttering, it’s important that I keep at it. In the thick of my purge project, I found that tracking my efforts made me more accountable. I like tracking things and even wrote about that here. Once I found a way that worked for me, decluttering became easier.

Along the way, I’ve had many aha moments about things, including:
• Something is not “useful” if you’re not using it.
• Duplicates just take up space when someone else could enjoy them.
• Family heirlooms are not my lifelong responsibility.
(and… I’m not a bad person if I simply take a picture, let it go, or allow a sibling to take a turn protecting the treasure.)
• Things that society says one should own to convey success are just stories… we get to define success for ourselves.
• I am not “my things”.
(and…In a way, they were never really mine, you can’t take them with you.)
• Every book I’ve ever owned or want to read is available free via libbyapp.

In summary, I feel the releasing of all those things led to what my friend described and more. My more minimalist and organized home freed me. Less stuff means less cleaning and fewer misplaced things. It has somehow allowed me to focus better on work and spend more time on doing things and giving back. Recently, I began tutoring… and taking swing dance just for fun. I do more writing, walking, and seeing friends. My improved peace of mind and contentment with what I have is also a curious thing. Decluttering lessened my chronic cravings to shop and buy more and more stuff. That urge to buy the next trendy handbag, seasonal decoration, cute sweater, latest jeans, back up kitchen gadget… this process made it all come to a screeching halt (well… almost). My new rule: when I buy something, anything, another thing has to go. Period.

You may feel that you do not have the time to declutter and organize. In my experience, I don’t have the time to not declutter. Even if it’s one room or one category or one drawer, I’m now in the habit of removing and curating down to the essentials and the most joy-sparking things (thank you, Marie Kondo). Life is short and getting shorter, I don’t want to spend an extra minute shopping for anything unneeded or cleaning extra stuff. It does take some concentrated time and effort, but I found the results to be priceless. It may sound hard, but it’s only hard until it’s not. And then it’s blissful release and a path to unknown new adventures.