
Our Public versus Private Spaces
I’ve been sharing a little bit about my adventure of purging possessions and simplifying my life. Seems like an easy process, right?
What I’ve discovered is the powerful influence of societal pressure on my home environment.
Years ago, I was pretty much a hermit, rarely asking people to my home. As I look back to that time, I owned many more things than I do now. My home was cluttered, stacks of stuff here, there and everywhere. I cleaned infrequently, I guess because no one was going to see it except me.
However, when someone wanted to visit, stress kicked in. I frantically cleaned by shoving everything into closets and drawers so at least it would be presentable. This felt pretty inauthentic, but the habit persisted.
When I began leading group workshops for highly sensitive people in my home, everything changed. I organized, painted and decorated almost every room. I even developed new habits to try to keep the public areas of my home clean most of the time.
I call those habits living lightly.
Like finding a place for everything and disciplining myself to put each thing away when I’m done with it. I also committed to keeping the flat surfaces in my home as clear as possible.
I recognize as an HSP, I find clutter over-stimulating. A clean surface is like a visual pause, a break from my brain needing to look at and process every little subtlety.
This new system brings relief, now there’s very little I have to do for my house to be presentable for company.
I realized though, there are still several rooms that look more like my past. Private space #1: the laundry room. It’s a hot mess, with piles of towels and clothes waiting to be washed, folded and put away. Well, I can always pull the curtains, no one really goes in there except me.
Private space #2: my home office. Piles of paperwork to be sorted and shredded, pictures and curtains to be hung. Stacks of books calling out ‘read me’! Again, simply close the door and no one’s the wiser.
It’s the contrast between getting dressed up to go out for dinner or lounging at home on Saturday in that ripped t-shirt we’ve held on to since college. Pressure to put on a public ‘face’ for others is effective, at least when it comes to keeping a clean house.
I wondered though, why do we concentrate so much time and energy on the public-facing side of our life? Is it our desire to demonstrate we have our lives handled? Or do we just worry too much about what others think?
I mean, none of my friends or family would disown me if they noticed a dust bunny or two under my sofa.
Let’s shift for a moment to explore the condition of private spaces. How often do you close the curtain or shut the door on a messy inner space that is crying out for attention or cleansing?
Take a moment to contemplate how these inner spaces look:
- your emotions?
- your thoughts?
- your daily habits?
- your self-care?
- your life purpose?
- your spiritual practice?
- your sensitivity?
How much time and energy are you spending on nurturing your private spaces, where it matters most? When you neglect these crucial parts of your ‘inner home’— it can quickly impact everything on the outside.
As the saying goes: as above, so below.
Or in this case, as in private, so in public…
My upcoming coaching program, Sensitive Wholeness, focuses on consciously choosing aspects of your life to meet your needs as a highly sensitive person. Let’s have a compassionate conversation about how to clear those dust bunnies out from under your couch…
Application deadline, September 29th.

