Confidence vs. Arrogance

Travis M. Percy
Sep 5, 2018 · 3 min read

I recently relocated to LA for work, and I’ve been shocked by the number of harsh encounters I’ve had with headstrong, self-absorbed Hollywood hopefuls who seem to see themselves and nothing but themselves. I’d never thought so extensively about the difference between confidence and arrogance until after a few sour encounters over Labor Day Weekend.

This past weekend I had one too many encounters with larger than life egos; these people were arrogant, not confident. From my time in the star-studded Hollywood district with friends to The Grove to other spaces and places in LA where so many go to be seen and feel known, I noticed so much arrogance in the chance and choice encounters I had with acquaintances and strangers.

Enough about me though…

We tango with confidence and arrogance each day, so it’s a topic worth touching. Honestly, I didn’t know how to distinguish confidence and arrogance until I reflected and wrote about it.

We all dance a dynamic tango between arrogance and confidence in our daily lives — at work, at home, in life at large.

Confidence comes with humility and compassion; arrogance is confidence on anabolic steroids lacking humility or compassion.

Watch arrogance strut!

Ideally, we should aspire to confidence. Confidence requires a healthy amount of ego, which is our self-esteem and sense of self-importance. Without sufficient confidence or healthy ego, we don’t reach our full potential because ultimately, we don’t believe we are worthy of more or better, only less or the same. Many people settle and play it safe due to a lack of confidence.

But there is genuinely so much to learn from the confident!

Confident people reinforce their abilities and greatness first with themselves. Their high self-esteem carries over into how they treat others. Confident people leave others feeling better about themselves than when they first met.

Confidence is having such comfort and awareness that you elevate those around you for their talents, looks, skills, and abilities without projecting your need for validation and insecurities onto others. Confident people are comfortable admitting their strengths and weakness. Finally, confident people carry themselves with remarkable ease and assurance and humility, and they lead with compassion because helping others is ultimately more fulfilling than high achievement.

For those looking to build their confidence, check this out!

Arrogance is confidence’s evil twin. It seeks validation and praise to boost its ego often at the expense of making others feel small, insignificant, or irrelevant. Arrogance starts and ends with the ego and rarely ever sees beyond itself. Its willing to overstep and outshine everybody and anybody with little regard for how it achieves its goals, as long as it reaches them.

Ironically, arrogance might seek success or validation, but it’s grand plan ultimately backfires. Arrogance backfires on itself because people remember how you make them feel and how you treat them more than your talent, competence, and achievement combined. So arrogance is not the path of least resistance en route to success and high achievement unless you aim for a quick rise and hard fall. You treat people poorly to reach your summit of success, and they will remember that.

For better or for worse, the reputation always precedes the individual!

The ultimate litmus test to distinguish confidence from arrogance is how you treat people and see beyond yourself each day. We leave confident people feeling better than we came; they are so competent, humble, and compassionate it inspires and motivates us to be better. We leave arrogant people feeling depleted, diminished, and insignificant.

We all tango with confidence and arrogance in our lives.

Let’s be on the right side of history when we look back at the stories of our rise — the stories of our lives.

Share your ideas below!

What’s confidence? What’s arrogance to you?
How do you deal with arrogant friends, colleagues, and passerbies?

P.S.
Shout out some confident leaders in your life who propel you to new heights!

Thanks,

Travis M. Percy

Travis M. Percy

Written by

Founder Coach, Copywriter, Creator

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