Are wedding gift lists outdated?

Once it was expected for engaged couples to set up a wedding gift registry at a department store, giving guests a list of items they needed to set up their first home together. This made sense when couples moved straight from their parent’s home to their marital home but what about now, when couples spend a decade or more living independently of their parents, or even in domestic bliss with their partner, before tying the knot? Are gift lists outdated and, if so, what are the alternatives to a wedding registry?

Honeymoon Registry

For many couples their honeymoon is their last chance to really travel before settling down and having children puts the brakes on. Honeymoon registries, like Buy Our Honeymoon, give your guests the ability to contribute to an unforgettable experience. Whether your dream honeymoon involves trekking through Central America or sampling the best Michelin starred restaurants in Paris, a honeymoon registry will help you achieve it.

Charitable Contributions

Making a charitable donation is a wonderful way to start married life and make your wedding meaningful and life-changing in more ways than one. Choose a charity that is close to your heart and explain to your guests why you would appreciate them to donate to it in your name rather than buy a gift. An alternative is to honour a loved one with a donation, perhaps to a charity who has helped your family through illness or bereavement.

Gift Card Registry

While you may not need anything specific now you know that won’t always be the case. A gift card registry is a fantastic way of planning for a future expense such as moving to a larger house or having a baby. Department stores like IKEA and John Lewis are a safe choice, but you might prefer an online store like Amazon for its diversity and flexibility.

Crowdfunding

If all you really want for your wedding is help saving for a deposit on a home, a buffer while you set up a new business, or a significant piece of art which is out of your budget, a crowdfunding wedding registry could be for you. While crowdfunding is essentially a way for guests to give you cash instead of a physical present, they offer a safe, user friendly way of doing so, and allow you to communicate what the money will be used for.

Regardless of whether you specify “no gifts”, or set up a wedding registry, you still may have guests who prefer to give you an actual present of their choosing. Whatever they give, the correct etiquette is still to send a handwritten thank you note expressing your gratitude for their generosity and thoughtfulness. When thanking guests for money avoid using the word “money” or stating the amount, but do let the giver know how you plan to use it. For example:

Thank you for your generous contribution to our honeymoon fund. We really appreciate it and have been able to add a two-day trek with elephants to our itinerary. It was wonderful to see you at our wedding. Thanks for making the trip to share our special day with us.

The best way to tackle your thank you notes is little and often. Begin as soon as gifts start arriving and share the responsibility between the two of you.