Don’t we deserve a better life?
It was few hours past 3AM and I was watching an episode of Greenleaf. For some inexplicable reason, that show got me fucked up. Then I found myself picking up my phone, and sending him a text: ‘Hey, don’t you want more out of life? Don’t you want to be happier? Don’t answer, I just want you to think about it.’
I have no idea where that came from, I still can’t really explain it right now, but I’ll try. Watching Greenleaf made me realize how fucked up the world really is, that even the most ‘perfect’ people can be so imperfect. That, no matter how much we tried, could we ever even achieve perfection? If no, how many broken people will we leave in our wake? At what number does it start to be unacceptable? One? Five? Twenty? How many people are we going to hurt in our so-called allowed imperfection? Are we conscious of the fact that hurting one person goes beyond just that person? Are we conscious of the ripple effect of brokenness? Of pain?
My understanding of life is non-existent, I’m still trying to figure it all out. But as I typed that text, what went through my mind was this. If the world is so messed up, and we’re never going to be able to achieve perfection, shouldn’t we be spending everyday of our lives doing the things that made us happy? Shouldn’t we be investing every effort in achieving those things we love? In spending time with the people we love? I didn’t want to spend another year away from him, I didn’t want to spend my life wondering and day dreaming. It made no sense to. But isn’t that what makes life so imperfect? The irony. We’re all different, hence the damage. I could never convince him to dream like me, and that would continue to keep us apart. It’s a hilarious whirlwind of ripple effects.
Don’t we deserve to be happier? Don’t you? Why do you spend everyday of your life chasing after the things that even you don’t care about, just because you’ve been told by someone that it’s the right thing to do? Why don’t you stop and just love the things you love? Why can’t you? Why won’t you?