I WONDER WHEN MY DAD STOPPED MAKING ME WEAR DRESSES, MAYBE THATS WHY IM BROKEN

i wanna be like those pretty boys stomping

their feet echo in the chamber

a cry a heed to a world where people love then

i wanna be like those pretty boys breathing

nostrils flared

the toxic masculinity they hold in their arms as they flex their biceps

i wanna be like those pretty boys dancing

i want to fall to the floor and get up

i want to be like those pretty boys

an ocean

an ocean

i want to be an ocean

i want to be loved

i want to be respected

i want to be better by default

i want people to call me they

i want to have a flat chest

i want to be

an ocean

an ocean

i want

an ocean

to swallow me whole

i look down at the bridge and i see that river and its power

and i see the crisis line number

and i look down at the bridge and i see that river and its power

and i keep walking

i wanna be

i wanna be

i wanna be anything but this body

this trap

a trap

i wanna be anything but this voice and this hair and these maligned teeth and these overactive salivary glands and these allergies that made me lose 5 pounds cause all i could eat was almonds

i wanna be someone who doesn’t get happy from losing five pounds cause all they could eat were almonds

i want my dead bodies back

i wanna be a pretty boy

so all the dead bodies come back

so the lady in the bleachers yells

like she knows me

so a lady in the bleachers yells

like she loves me

i wanna make my family proud as a pretty boy

i wanna make my lover happy as a pretty boy

i wanna make my body stop this ache as a pretty boy

i wanna see all my problems solved by the virtue of being a pretty boy

i wanna give in to a corporation and sell my soul to be a pretty boy

and dance

and stomp

and breathe so hard my nostrils flare

as i carry toxic masculinity in my curled bicep

flexed

like my body

over yours

when you hurt me

when you hurt me

when you hurt me

i wanna be a pretty boy

to escape when you hurt me

i wanna be a pretty boy

to escape the hurt in me

lo que se ve no se pregunta

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