Research

Ask (Interviews)

QUESTIONS. For all three interviews I had a list of possible questions to ask but in an effort to contrive story, I really wanted the conversation to feel natural so I adjusted slightly with each interviewee. I specifically targeted educators for my interviews. I was interested in how their experience with kids and classroom management might influence their The following list is are the questions I asked all of them:

• How does co-parenting aliviate some of the stress? Do you and your partner use each other to balance the responsibilities of having a kids? How? Why? When?
• How did your kids’ dependence on you change as they aged? Did this change your responsibilities or relationship with them?
• Which developmental stage was the most stress inducing? Why?
• Do certain environments enduce more stress than others? Public vs private?
• Does your expereince in the classroom influence how you parent your children? Or vise versa?
• Do you find yourself influencing your spouses parenting style based off off your background in education?
• Do you have any specific stress management methods or tools you use now?

Tracy

Tracy acted as my control group of sorts. As a mother working from home, she provided some insight and experience that my other interviewees didn’t necessarily have. Both of her children are older than the other two mom’s I interviewed, one in his senior year of high school and the other in her sophomore year in college.

Tracy served as the one person I interviewed that was not both an educator and parent. One of the things she highlighted was the closeness in age of her kids and how it set her and her husband up in may ways for success because both of their kids were going through the same developmental stage at the same time. She also touched on the changes that have been happening as “the nest empties,” and how this has shifted the freedom her kids have and what this means for her and her husband. She’s been reminded of how important and beneficial it is that they both have lives outside of their kids and this is reflected in her aversion to a helicopter parenting style.

Amy

Amy is new mom as of six months ago. Despite her seemingly recent entrance to parenthood, she has not arrived without ample preparation, with nearly twenty years of experience in education prior to the birth of her son. Despite her experience, largely with kids younger than ten years old, she still spoke in amazement of how life changing the introduction of her son was into her life. As a new mother she had a lot to say about how much her lifestlyle has changed in the last six months, from being a rather social creature to suddenly having a constant pressing being who forces you to stay in the present.

One of the things that was particularily stood out about Amy was that she waited to have kids later in life, after having a fulfilling career and social expereinces. Amy is 38thirty-eight. This intentional decisison yeilded unique insights as to how to approach parenting, or as she’s discovered her role right now, caretaking. She spoke very eloquently of the importance of communication between partners when c0parenting, as well as the essential need to prioritize time for ones’ self. Because of her extensive background with kids, Amy had a lot to say about the benefits of understanding how kids interact, react, and convey their needs and was optimistic about it reflecting in her parenting style in the years to come.

Nancy

As a professional in the world of education for twnety plus years, Nancy served as my interviewee who was well experienced in both fields. Her kids are in their early to mid teenage years. Now assuming more of an administrative role at the school, Nancy’s experience and knowledge of child development and how it reflected in her parenting approach was somewhat different than Amy’s.

Having gone through both the early stages of parenting and now the angsty teen years, Nancy’s biggest encouragement was the the importance of a supportive partner. Although her husband has more of a traditional approach to parenting, she emphasized the importance communication and the success that can result from it. She also took a similar approach as Tracy when it came to teaching her children how to deal with resposability and change: to let them try things for themselves and then coach and reflect with them afterward.

Observation

For my observations I went specifically to Creative Kid’s stuff on Grand and a local target to observe how parents interacted with their children. Throughout the week however, I noticed myself hyperaware of how the relationship between parents and their kids.

I observed both single parents and coparents in public. I noticed that the single parent was generally much more firm and assertive when talking to the child and especially when talking to multiple children. I also noticed the tactic of using the child’s name when talking to them and also repeating things to connvey a message clearly. When a single parent was outnumbered by the number of children, there was generally one of two patterns, depending on the kids’ ages: either separate the kids as much as possible to keep rowdy behavior in check or using the older child as a mediator to hand responsibility off to. One fed up mother used her own body as a blockade between two boys.

Handing off responsibility was also a common occurance between partners with children. Dividing the responsabilities seemed to keep attitudes calmer and raised voices down. Coupled parents were more willing to take risks, for example let their kids lead the way. They were also more engaged with the kids, asking quesitons and making connections. This enthusiastic engagement was also observed with single parents with one child but less so when the single parent had multiple children. Another approach parents took was distracting the children from the task at hand, usually more so with younger children. This included again asking questions, pulling out toys, or giving them little manageable tasks to occupy their hands and minds.

Unpacking

TRACY

• Children close in age: developmentally similar; guiding each other; learn how to tackle same problems (kids and parents)
• Encourage them to claim responsibility
• Consider how each child reacts/approaches differently; how this affect how I approach them; how this might affect which one of us approaches them
• Coparenting: being on the same page; parental unit; support/backup
• Communication: home vs during the day doing things; how it’s changed with Meg at college
• Split attention = more stress- feelings of panic and stress
• Second child has more freedom than the first
• Empty nesters: having lives/interests outside of your kids.
• New dog! How will this fit into their new life style?
• Loves the energy of a busy life/household
• Likes every stage of child’s life; growing where they should be; living presently
• Understanding stress: stepping back and using teaching moments

Nancy

• Stress types change: social changes; physical vs emotional as child grows
• Relationships change/evolve: friend role
• Co-parenting: supportive partner; splitting responsibilities (emotional & physical); talk before taking action; present united front
• Education: understadning relationships between kids and parents; being informed; reading
• Misbehavior: logical consequences- facing and acknowledging the wrong
• Husband: traditional parenting style; different schools of thought; go with what you know
• Younger: feeling of permanence
• Older: Moments are fleeting; quality time is crucial; financial commitments (college)
• College: balanced approach; expectations aren’t super competitive
• Shouldering it together- avoid the teenage angst
• Bird: use as a way of teaching responsibility; coaching her through the stages of change
• New responsibilities: dog, house, yard
• Google calendar; shared grocery shopping
• Taking the weekends off; family/house responsabilities

Amy

• Think you know what’s going to happen and then your world is upside down
• Ensuring that this human is stays alive (parenting vs caretaking)
• Nursing: gift/privilege but binding, claustrophobia
• Lifestyle shift: Being able to contemplate time before a kid; shift in social engagement; antsy
• “How the mighty have fallen”
• Being that demands constant attention and alertness
• Being present. Slows down every moment
• Being reflective. Self aware. Express needs.
• Kids later in life: had a career nad a life
• Finding humor. Jokes. Smiles.
• Preventative maintenance counceling?
• Easy to feel resentful (nursing vs golfing)
• The phyiscal effort and preparation required for leaving the child (mom vs dad)
• Name/acknowledge what’s stressful
• Find time to be together
• Education: having kids = not a light topic
• Understanding how kids will react/ineract; understanding child development
• Understanding how to react in response
• You have to teach them how to be the person you want to put into the world
• Didn’t ask to know the sex of the baby — didn’t want to prescribe expectations
• Sleep when he sleeps
• Preventative stress: get outdoors; call people who can help you; be grateful; gass of wine?

Observations

• Single Parents: stern voices, assertive tones, delegating to older children, using toys to relate to the kids, leaving their kid in a certain section while they run and get stuff done, using body to act as barrier, hand holding
• Partnered Parents: divide responsibilities, watching the kids when they talk, being engaged with the child while the other parent takes care of things, bribing the child with treats, giving them a small task to occupy them

Major Insights

1. While in public most parents are more inclined to enforce conflict prevention tactics. (Observations)
2. Despite feeling prepared, the transition between lifestyles can and often does come as a shock. (Amy)
3. Letting your child try something first and correcting them after helps them understand responsability. (Tracy and Nancy)
4. Communication between co-parents builds trust between the couple and reassures them of a supportive partner. (Tracy, Amy, Nancy, Observations)
5. Parents aim to present themselves as a cahosive unit to their children, even if they don’t agree. (Tracy and Nancy)
6. Directly engaging with the child by making connections generally yields a more responsive interaction with the child. (Amy, Observations)
7. Educators and the educated are likely to take a hands off approach when it comes to parenting. (Tracy, Nancy, Amy)
8. It’s important to take time to reflect and to not forget about your own interests and desires. (Tracy, Amy)
9. Making sacrifices is part of the foundation of co-parenting. (Tracy, Nancy, Amy)
10. Parental stress shifts from a greatly physical commitment to a more psychological one as children age and develop. (Tracy, Nancy, Amy, Observations)

Problem Statements

1. Amy needs a way to do something from start to finish because it helps her feel autonomous.
2. Amy needs a way to ease the shell shock of the sudden change of life style because the extreme change causes stress.
3. Tracy needs a way to handle two things at once because she experiences a lot of stress when she is forced to divide her attention.

Market Survey

1. Google/Wall Calendar

The sharing feature allows for poeple to organize all of the different things happning in the family. This is ideal for larger or busy families that rarely find themselves in the same place at the same time but it’s not always the most convinient if only a few members are actively participating in the calendar sharing.

2. Baby Paper

The baby paper was a distraction tool/toy Amy’s son was playing with while I was interviewing her; awesome product. The noisy nature of the toy distracts the child and the texture makes it user friendly. The cons of the product however, is that it will only occupy a short attention span. Once the child has overcome the novelty, the parent is back to square one. It acts much more as a temporary resolution than a more lasting fix.

3. Baby Monitor

A common household item in the house of a newborn. It allows parents or caretakers to do other things while still being able to see what the infact or young child is doing. If something were to actually happen however, the parent is most likely not in the room with the child. This delayed response could be a detrimental consequence.