Donald Trump’s campaign announcement without punctuation

Inspired by Stephen Colbert and Bloomsday, I took all the punctuation out of Trump’s speech.

Wow whoa that is some group of people thousands so nice thank you very much thats really nice thank you its great to be at Trump Tower its great to be in a wonderful city New York and its an honor to have everybody here this is beyond anybodys expectations theres been no crowd like this and I can tell some of the candidates they went in they didnt know the air-conditioner didnt work they sweated like dogs they didnt know the room was too big because they didnt have anybody there how are they going to beat ISIS I dont think its gonna happen our country is in serious trouble we dont have victories anymore we used to have victories but we dont have them when was the last time anybody saw us beating lets say China in a trade deal they kill us I beat China all the time all the time we want Trump we want Trump when did we beat Japan at anything they send their cars over by the millions and what do we do when was the last time you saw a Chevrolet in Tokyo it doesnt exist folks they beat us all the time when do we beat Mexico at the border theyre laughing at us at our stupidity and now they are beating us economically they are not our friend believe me but theyre killing us economically the US has become a dumping ground for everybody elses problems thank you its true and these are the best and the finest when Mexico sends its people theyre not sending their best theyre not sending you theyre not sending you theyre sending people that have lots of problems and theyre bringing those problems with us theyre bringing drugs theyre bringing crime theyre rapists and some I assume are good people but I speak to border guards and they tell us what were getting and it only makes common sense it only makes common sense theyre sending us not the right people its coming from more than Mexico its coming from all over South and Latin America and its coming probably probably from the Middle East but we dont know because we have no protection and we have no competence we dont know whats happening And its got to stop and its got to stop fast Islamic terrorism is eating up large portions of the Middle East theyve become rich Im in competition with them they just built a hotel in Syria can you believe this they built a hotel when I have to build a hotel I pay interest they dont have to pay interest because they took the oil that when we left Iraq I said we shouldve taken so now ISIS has the oil and what they dont have Iran has and in nineteen and I will tell you this and I said it very strongly years ago I said and I love the military and I want to have the strongest military that weve ever had and we need it more now than ever but I said dont hit Iraq because youre going to totally destabilize the Middle East Iran is going to take over the Middle East Iran and somebody else will get the oil and it turned out that Iran is now taking over Iraq think of it Iran is taking over Iraq and theyre taking it over big league we spent two trillion in Iraq two trillion we lost thousands of lives thousands in Iraq we have wounded soldiers who I love I love theyre great all over the place thousands and thousands of wounded soldiers and we have nothing we cant even go there we have nothing and every time we give Iraq equipment the first time a bullet goes off in the air they leave it last week I read twenty three hundred Humvees these are big vehicles were left behind for the enemy two thousand you would say maybe two maybe four twenty three hundred sophisticated vehicles they ran and the enemy took them we need Trump now youre right we need Trump now last quarter it was just announced our gross domestic product a sign of strength right But not for us it was below zero whoever heard of this its never below zero our labor participation rate was the worst since nineteen seventyeight but think of it GDP below zero horrible labor participation rate and our real unemployment is anywhere from eighteen to twenty percent dont believe the fivepointsix dont believe it thats right a lot of people up there cant get jobs they cant get jobs because there are no jobs because China has our jobs and Mexico has our jobs they all have jobs but the real number the real number is anywhere from eighteen to nineteen and maybe even twentyone percent and nobody talks about it because its a statistic thats full of nonsense we want Trump now our enemies are getting stronger and stronger by the way and we as a country are getting weaker Even our nuclear arsenal doesnt work it came out recently they have equipment that is thirty years old they dont know if it worked and I thought it was horrible when it was broadcast on television because boy does that send signals to Putin and all of the other people that look at us and they say that is a group of people and that is a nation that truly has no clue they dont know what theyre doing they dont know what theyre doing we need Trump now we have a disaster called the big lie Obamacare Obamacare yesterday it came out that costs are going for people up twentynine thirtynine fortynine and even fiftyfive percent and deductibles are through the roof you have to be hit by a tractor literally a tractor to use it because the deductibles are so high its virtually useless its virtually useless it is a disaster and remember the five billion web site five billion we spent on a website and to this day it doesnt work A five billion website I have so many websites I have them all over the place I hire people they do a website it costs me three dollars five billion dollar website we want Trump we want Trump we want Trump we want Trump well you need somebody because politicians are all talk no action nothings gonna get done they will not bring us believe me to the promised land they will not as an example Ive been on the circuit making speeches and I hear my fellow Republicans and theyre wonderful people I like them they all want me to support them they dont know how to bring it about they come up to my office Im meeting with three of them in the next week and they dont know are you running are you not running could we have your support what do we do how do we do it I like them and I hear their speeches and they dont talk jobs and they dont talk China when was the last time you heard China is killing us theyre devaluing their currency to a level that you wouldnt believe it makes it impossible for our companies to compete impossible theyre killing us but you dont hear that from anybody else you dont hear it from anybody else and I watch the speeches no more free thank you I watch the speeches of these people and they say the sun will rise the moon will set all sorts of wonderful things will happen nd people are saying whats going on I just want a job just get me a job I dont need the rhetoric I want a job and thats whats happening and its going to get worse because remember Obamacare really kicks in in sixteen twentysixteen Obama is going to be out playing golf he might be on one of my courses I would invite him I actually would say I have the best courses in the world so Id say you what if he wants to I have one right next to the White House right on the Potomac if hed like to play thats fine in fact Id love him to leave early and play that would be a very good thing but Obamacare kicks in in twentysixteen really big league it is going to be amazingly destructive doctors are quitting I have a friend whos a doctor and he said to me the other day Donald I never saw anything like it I have more accountants than I have nurses its a disaster my patients are beside themselves they had a plan that was good they have no plan now we have to repeal Obamacare and it can be and and it can be replaced with something much better for everybody let it be for everybody but much better and much less expensive for people and for the government and we can do it Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump so Ive watched the politicians Ive dealt with them all my life if you cant make a good deal with a politician then theres something wrong with you Youre certainly not very good and thats what we have representing us they will never make America great again they dont even have a chance theyre controlled fully theyre controlled fully by the lobbyists by the donors and by the special interests fully yes they control them hey I have lobbyists I have to tell you I have lobbyists that can produce anything for me theyre great but you know what it wont happen it wont happen because we have to stop doing things for some people but for this country its destroying our country we have to stop and it has to stop now it needs Trump now our country needs our country needs a truly great leader and we need a truly great leader now we need a leader that wrote The Art of the Deal Yes we need a leader that can bring back our jobs can bring back our manufacturing can bring back our military can take care of our vets our vets have been abandoned and we also need a cheerleader you know when President Obama was elected I said well the one thing I think hell do well I think hell be a great cheerleader for the country I think hed be a great spirit he was vibrant he was young I really thought that he would be a great cheerleader but not a leader hes not a leader thats true youre right about that but he wasnt a cheerleader hes actually a negative force hes been a negative force he wasnt a cheerleader he was the opposite we need somebody that can take the brand of the United States and make it great again its not great again we need we need somebody we need somebody that literally will take this country and make it great again we can do that and I will tell you I love my life I have a wonderful family theyre saying dad youre going to do something thats going to be so tough you know all of my life Ive heard that a truly successful person a really really successful person and even modestly successful cannot run for public office just cant happen and yet thats the kind of mindset that you need to make this country great again so ladies and gentlemen I am officially running for president of the United States and we are going to make our country great again it can happen our country has tremendous potential we have tremendous people we have people that arent working we have people that have no incentive to work but theyre going to have incentive to work because the greatest social program is a job and theyll be proud and theyll love it and theyll make much more than they wouldve ever made and theyll be theyll be doing so well and were going to be thriving as a country thriving it can happen I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created I tell you that Ill bring back our jobs from China from Mexico from Japan from so many places Ill bring back our jobs and Ill bring back our money right now think of this we owe China thirteen trillion dollars we owe Japan more than that so they come in they take our jobs they take our money and then they loan us back the money and we pay them in interest and then the dollar goes up so their deals even better how stupid are our leaders how stupid are these politicians to allow this to happen how stupid are they Im going to tell you thank you Im going to tell you a couple of stories about trade because Im totally against the trade bill for a number of reasons number one the people negotiating dont have a clue our president doesnt have a clue hes a bad negotiator hes the one that did Bergdahl we get Bergdahl they get five killer terrorists that everybody wanted over there we get Bergdahl we get a traitor we get a no-good traitor and they get the five people that they wanted for years and those people are now back on the battlefield trying to kill us thats the negotiator we have take a look at the deal hes making with Iran he makes that deal Israel maybe wont exist very long its a disaster and we have to protect Israel but yes we do yes we do so we need people Im a free trader but the problem with free trade is you need really talented people to negotiate for you if you dont have talented people if you dont have great leadership if you dont have people that know business not just a political hack that got the job because he made a contribution to a campaign which is the way all jobs just about are gotten free trade terrible free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people but we have people that are stupid we have people that arent smart and we have people that are controlled by special interests and its just not going to work so heres a couple of stories happened recently a friend of mine is a great manufacturer and you know China comes over and they dump all their stuff and I buy it I buy it because frankly I have an obligation to buy it because they devalue their currency so brilliantly they just did it recently and nobody thought they could do it again but with all our problems with Russia with all our problems with everything everything they got away with it again and its impossible for our people here to compete so I want to tell you this story A friend of mine whos a great manufacturer calls me up a few weeks ago hes very upset I said whats your problem he said you know I make great product and I said I know I know that because I buy the product he said I cant get it into China they wont accept it I sent a boat over and they actually sent it back they talked about environmental they talked about all sorts of crap that had nothing to do with it I said oh wait a minute thats terrible does anyone know this he said yeah they do it all the time with other people I said they send it back yeah so I finally got it over there and they charged me a big tariff theyre not supposed to be doing that I told them now they do charge you tariff on trucks when we send trucks and other things over there ask Boeing they wanted Boeings secrets they wanted their patents and all their secrets before they agreed to buy planes from Boeing hey Im not saying theyre stupid I like China I sell apartments for I just sold an apartment for $15 million to somebody from China am I supposed to dislike them I own a big chunk of the Bank of America Building at twelveninety Avenue of the Americas that I got from China in a war very valuable I love China the biggest bank in the world is from China you know where their United States headquarters is located in this building in Trump Tower I love China people say oh you dont like China no I love them but their leaders are much smarter than our leaders and we cant sustain ourself with that theres too much its like its like take the New England Patriots and Tom Brady and have them play your high school football team thats the difference between Chinas leaders and our leaders they are ripping us we are rebuilding China were rebuilding many countries China you go there now roads bridges schools you never saw anything like it they have bridges that make the George Washington Bridge look like small potatoes and theyre all over the place we have all the cards but we dont know how to use them we dont even know that we have the cards because our leaders dont understand the game we could turn off that spigot by charging them tax until they behave properly now theyre going militarily theyre building a military island in the middle of the South China sea a military island now our country could never do that because wed have to get environmental clearance and the environmentalist wouldnt let our country we would never build in an ocean they built it in about one year this massive military port theyre building up their military to a point that is very scary you have a problem with ISIS you have a bigger problem with China and in my opinion the new China believe it or not in terms of trade is Mexico so this man tells me about the manufacturing I say thats a terrible story I hate to hear it but I have another one Ford so Mexico takes a company a car company that was going to build in Tennessee rips it out everybody thought the deal was dead reported it in the Wall Street Journal recently everybody thought it was a done deal Its going in and thats going to be it going into Tennessee great state great people all of a sudden at the last moment this big car manufacturer foreign announces theyre not going to Tennessee theyre gonna spend their one billion in Mexico instead not good now Ford announces a few weeks ago that Ford is going to build a twentyfive billion dollar car and truck and parts manufacturing plant in Mexico twentyfive billion its going to be one of the largest in the world Ford good company so I announced that Im running for president I wouldone of the early things I would do probably before I even got in and I wouldnt even use you know I have I know the smartest negotiators in the world I know the good ones I know the bad ones I know the overrated ones you get a lot of them that are overrated theyre not good they think they are they get good stories because the newspapers get buffaloed but theyre not good but I know the negotiators in the world and I put them one for each country believe me folks we will do very very well very very well but I wouldnt even waste my time with this one I would call up the head of Ford who I know if I was president Id say congratulations I understand that youre building a nice twentyfive billion dollar car factory in Mexico and that youre going to take your cars and sell them to the United States zero tax just flow them across the border and you say to yourself how does that help us right how does that help us where is that good its not so I would say congratulations thats the good news let me give you the bad news every car and every truck and every part manufactured in this plant that comes across the border were going to charge you a thirtyfive percent tax and that tax is going to be paid simultaneously with the transaction and thats it now heres what is going to happen If its not me in the position its one of these politicians that were running against you know the fourhundred people that were and heres whats going to happen theyre not so stupid they know its not a good thing and they may even be upset by it but then theyre going to get a call from the donors or probably from the lobbyist for Ford and say you cant do that to Ford because Ford takes care of me and I take care of you and you cant do that to Fordand guess what no problem theyre going to build in Mexico theyre going to take away thousands of jobs its very bad for us so under President Trump heres what would happen the head of Ford will call me back I would say within an hour after I told them the bad news but it could be hed want to be cool and hell wait until the next day you know they want to be a little cool and hell say please please please hell beg for a little while and Ill say no interest then hell call all sorts of political people and Ill say sorry fellas no interest because I dont need anybodys money its nice I dont need anybodys money Im using my own money Im not using the lobbyists Im not using donors I dont care Im really rich and by the way Im not even saying that in a thats the kind of mindset thats the kind of thinking you need for this country absolutely so because we got to make the country rich it sounds crass somebody said oh thats crass its not crass we got eighteen trillion in debt we got nothing but problems we got a military that needs equipment all over the place we got nuclear weapons that are obsolete weve got nothing weve got Social Security thats going to be destroyed if somebody like me doesnt bring money into the country all these other people want to cut the hell out of it Im not going to cut it at all Im going to bring money in and were going to save it but heres whats going to happen after Im called by thirty friends of mine who contributed to different campaigns after Im called by all of the special interests and by the the donors and by the lobbyists and they have zero chance at convincing me zero Ill get a call the next day from the head of Ford hell say please reconsider Ill say no hell say Mister President weve decided to move the plant back to the United States and were not going to build it in Mexico thats it they have no choice they have no choice there are hundreds of things like that Ill give you another example Saudi Arabia they make one billion a day one billion a day I love the Saudis many are in this building they make a billion dollars a day whenever they have problems we send over the ships we say were gonna protect what are we doing theyve got nothing but money if the right person asked them theyd pay a fortune they wouldnt be there except for us and believe me you look at the border with Yemen you remember Obama a year ago yemen was a great victory two weeks later the place was blown up everybody got out and they kept our equipment they always keep our equipment we ought to send used equipment right they always keep our equipment we ought to send some real junk because frankly it would be we ought to send our surplus were always losing this gorgeous brand-new stuff but look at that border with Saudi Arabia do you really think that these people are interested in Yemen Saudi Arabia without us is gone theyre gone and Im the one that made all of the right predictions about Iraq you know all of these politicians that Im running against now its so nice to say Im running as opposed to if I run if I run Im running but all of these politicians that Im running against now theyre trying to disassociate I mean you looked at Bush it took him five days to answer the question on Iraq he couldnt answer the question he didnt know I said is he intelligent then I looked at Rubio he was unable to answer the question is Iraq a good thing or bad thing he didnt know he couldnt answer the question how are these people gonna lead us how are we gonna how are we gonna go back and make it great again we cant they dont have a clue they cant lead us they cant they cant even answer simple questions it was terrible but Saudi Arabia is in big big trouble now thanks to fracking and other things the oil is all over the place And I used to say it there are ships at sea and this was during the worst crisis that were loaded up with oil and the cartel kept the price up because again they were smarter than our leaders They were smarter than our leaders there is so much wealth out there that can make our country so rich again and therefore make it great again because we need money were dying were dying we need money we have to do it and we need the right people so Ford will come back theyll all come back and I will say this this is going to be an election in my opinion thats based on competence Yes somebody said thank you darling somebody said to me the other day a reporter a very nice reporter but Mister Trump youre not a nice personWe dont need nice thats true but actually I am I think I am a nice person people that know me like me does my family like me I think so right look at my family Im proud of my family by the way speaking of my family Melania Barron Kai Donnie Don Vanessa Tiffany Evanka did a great job did she do a great jo great Jared Laura and Eric Im very proud of my family theyre a great family so the reporter said to me the other day but Mister Trump youre not a nice person how can you get people to vote for you I said I dont know I said I think that number one I am a nice person I give a lot of money away to charities and other things I think Im actually a very nice person but I said this is going to be an election thats based on competence because people are tired of these nice people and theyre tired of being ripped off by everybody in the world and theyre tired of spending more money on education than any nation in the world per capita than any nation in the world and we are twentysixth in the world twentyfive countries are better than us in education and some of them are like third world countries but were becoming a third word country because of our infrastructure our airports our roads everything so one of the things I did and I said you know what Ill do Ill do it because a lot of people said hell never run number one he wont want to give up his lifestyle theyre right about that but Im doing it number two Im a private company so nobody knows what Im worth and the one thing is that when you run you have to announce and certify to all sorts of governmental authorities your net worth so I said thats ok Im proud of my net worth Ive done an amazing job I started off thank you I started off in a small office with my father in Brooklyn and Queens and my father said and I love my father I learned so much he was a great negotiator I learned so much just sitting at his feet playing with blocks listening to him negotiate with subcontractors but I learned a lot but he used to say Donald dont go into Manhattan thats the big leagues we dont know anything about that dont do it I said I gotta go into Manhattan I gotta build those big buildings I gotta do it dad Ive gotta do it and after four or five years in Brooklyn I ventured into Manhattan and did a lot of great deals the Grand Hyatt Hotel I was responsible for the convention center on the west side I did a lot of great deals and I did them early and young and now Im building all over the world and I love what Im doing but they all said a lot of the pundits on television well Donald will never run and one of the main reasons is hes private and hes probably not as successful as everybody thinks so I said to myself you know nobodys ever going to know unless I run because Im really proud of my success I really am Ive employed Ive employed tens of thousands of people over my lifetime that means medical that means education that means everything so a large accounting firm and my accountants have been working for months because its big and complex and theyve put together a statement a financial statement just a summary but everything will be filed eventually with the government and we dont extensions or anything well be filing it right on time we dont need anything and it was even reported incorrectly yesterday because they said he had assets of nine billion so I said no thats the wrong number thats the wrong number not assets so they put together this and before I say it I have to say this I made it the oldfashioned way its real estate you know its real estate its labor and its unions good and some bad and lots of people that arent in unions and its all over the place and building all over the world and I have assets big accounting firm one of the most highly respected nine billion twohundredforty million dollars yeah and I have liabilities of about fivehundred million thats longterm debt very low interest rates in fact one of the big banks came to me and said Donald you dont have enough borrowings could we loan you four billion I said I dont need it I dont want it and Ive been there I dont want it but in two seconds they give me whatever I wanted so I have a total net worth and now with the increase itll be well over ten billion but here a total net worth of net worth not assets not a net worth after all debt after all expenses the greatest assets Trump Tower twelveninety Avenue of the Americas Bank of America building in San Francisco forty Wall Street sometimes referred to as the Trump building right opposite the New York many other places all over the world so the total is eighthundredseventythreemillionsevenhundredfiftyfour dollars now Im not doing that Im not doing that to brag because you know what I dont have to brag I dont have to believe it or not Im doing that to say that thats the kind of thinking our country needs We need that thinking we have the opposite thinking we have losers we have losers we have people that dont have it we have people that are morally corrupt we have people that are selling this country down the drain so I put together this statement and the only reason Im telling you about it today is because we really do have to get going because if we have another three or four years — you know were at $8 trillion now were soon going to be at twenty trillion according to the economists who Im not big believers in but nevertheless this is what theyre saying that twentyfour trillion dollars were very close thats the point of no return twentyfour trillion dollars we will be there soon thats when we become Greece thats when we become a country thats unsalvageable and were gonna be there very soon were gonna be there very soon make America strong so just to sum up I would do various things very quickly I would repeal and replace the big lie Obamacare yeah I would build a great wall and nobody builds walls better than me believe me and Ill build them very inexpensively I will build a great great wall on our southern border and I will have Mexico pay for that wall Yes mark my words nobody would be tougher on ISIS than Donald Trump nobody I will find within our military I will find the General Patton or I will find General MacArthur I will find the right guy I will find the guy thats going to take that military and make it really work nobody nobody will be pushing us around Yes I will stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons and we wont be using a man like Secretary Kerry that has absolutely no concept of negotiation whos making a horrible and laughable deal whos just being tapped along as they make weapons right now and then goes into a bicycle race at seventytweo years old and falls and breaks his leg I wont be doing that and I promise I will never be in a bicycle race that I can tell you I will immediately terminate President Obamas illegal executive order on immigration immediately fully support and back up the Second Amendment now its very interesting today I heard it through stupidity in a very very hard core prison interestingly named Clinton two vicious murderers two vicious people escaped and nobody knows where they are and a woman was on television this morning and she said you know Mister Trump and she was telling other people and I actually called her and she said you know Mister Trump I always was against guns I didnt want guns And now since this happened its up in the prison area my husband and I are finally in agreement because he wanted the guns we now have a gun on every table were ready to start shooting I said very interesting so protect the Second Amendment end end Common Core Common Core should it is a disaster Bush is totally in favor of Common Core I dont see how he can possibly get the nomination hes weak on immigration hes in favor of Common Core how the hell can you vote for this guy you just cant do it we have to end education has to be local rebuild the countrys infrastructure yeah nobody can do that like me believe me it will be done on time on budget way below cost way below what anyone ever thought I look at the roads being built all over the country and I say I can build those things for onethird what they do is unbelievable how bad you know were building on Pennsylvania Avenue the Old Post Office were converting it into one of the worlds great hotels its gonna be the best hotel in Washington DC we got it from the General Services Administration in Washington the Obama administration we got it it was the most highly sought after or one of them but I think the most highly sought after project in the history of General Services we got it people were shocked Trump got it well I got it for two reasons number one were really good number two we had a really good plan and Ill add in the third we had a great financial statement because the General Services who are terrific people by the way and talented people they wanted to do a great job and they wanted to make sure it got built so we have to rebuild our infrastructure our bridges our roadways our airports you come into La Guardia Airport its like were in a third world country you look at the patches and the forty year old floor they throw down asphalt and they throw you look at these airports we are like a third world country and I come in from China and I come in from Qatar and I come in from different places and they have the most incredible airports in the world you come to back to this country and you have LAX disaster you have all of these disastrous airports we have to rebuild our infrastructure save Medicare Medicaid and Social Security without cuts have to do it get rid of the fraud get rid of the waste and abuse but save it people have been paying it for years and now many of these candidates want to cut it you save it by making the United States by making us rich again by taking back all of the money thats being lost renegotiate our foreign trade deals yes reduce our eighteen trillion in debt because believe me were in a bubble we have artificially low interest rates we have a stock market that frankly has been good to me but I still hate to see whats happening we have a stock market that is so bloated be careful of a bubble because what youve seen in the past might be small potatoes compared to what happens so be very very careful and strengthen our military and take care of our vets so so important Yes Sadly the American dream is dead bring it back but if I get elected president I will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before and we will make America great again thank you thank you very much.