‘Say My Name’ Was Impossibly Unreasonable
In the year 2000, Beyonce released ‘Say My Name’. Yes, I’m well aware that this was technically a Destiny’s Child song. Every Destiny’s Child song is a Beyonce song though. Moving on.
Beyonce presents the track as an anthem for scorned women and a call to arms against no-good, lying, cheating, dirtbag boyfriends. What it might be, upon further review, is the last act of a desperate woman. So which is it? It’s a question that can only be answered by going straight to the source. Let’s examine the lyrics to determine just how reasonable or unreasonable Beyonce was acting.
The scene: Beyonce calls her boyfriend on the phone. He answers, presumably, with a simple hello.
Beyonce: “Say my name, say my name! When no one is around you, you say, “baby I love you”. If you ain’t runnin’ game, say my name, say my name! You actin’ kinda shady, (by) ain’t callin’ me baby…why the sudden change?
Um, wow. Beyonce’s boyfriend said, “Hello” and is already being shouted at for acting shady. I honestly can’t think of a better way to answer the phone than saying “hello”. It’s such a classic greeting.
Also consider that in the year 2000 this phone conversation was likely via landline, and so it’s entirely plausible her boyfriend had no clue as to who was on the other end of the phone as he picked it up. You don’t want to get a call from your boss or from your neighbor Steve and answer “hey, baby, I love you!” That would be jumping the gun and lead to some potentially embarrassing situations. “Hello” is always a safe bet. Beyonce is acting UNREASONABLE.
Beyonce: “Any other day I would call and you would say, “Baby, how’s your day?” But today, it ain’t the same.
This could potentially be a result of the fact that you immediately started shouting at him as soon as he picked up the phone, Beyonce. He probably has a really good idea as to how your day is going to this point and is fearful of the repercussions that asking would bring. Beyonce continues to be AGRESSIVELY UNREASONABLE
Beyonce: “Every other word is ‘uh-huh’ and ‘yeah, okay’. Could it be that you are at the crib with another lady?
Whoa! Jumping to conclusions here, Beyonce. I can’t imagine what it’s like to date Beyonce, but I can imagine what it’s like to have a grandmother. My grandmother calls me all the time, sometimes just to tell me that her neighbor, this guy Colin, got a new truck, or maybe just to tell me she heard it might snow on Thursday. She calls a lot. Sometimes I’m doing other stuff so I’ll just respond “uh-huh, okay, okay Nana. That’s great. I’m sure it’s a very big truck. Uh-huh. Okay, love you Nana”. Just because you aren’t 100% totally invested in a story doesn’t mean you are up to anything nefarious.
It’s possible that her boyfriend just got home from work. Maybe he’s making a pizza. He’s tired. He’s distracted, because he forgot to put flour on the cutting board before rolling the dough. He always forgets that part. So while Beyonce is shouting at him or maybe telling him what shoes she almost bought, he’s only half-way there, wrestling with some stubborn pizza dough and fiddling with the cord on his phone. That would be reasonable of him. Beyonce is acting SUSPICIOUSLY UNREASONABLE.
Beyonce: “If you took it there, first of all let me say I am NOT the one to sit around and be played.”
We have the benefit of hindsight here, but we all saw Lemonade. We know Beyonce is certainly not going to sit around and be played. IF the boyfriend did, in fact, take it there, Beyonce is being truthful and well within her rights to have hurt feelings. Here, for the first time Beyonce is acting KINDA REASONABLE.
Beyonce: “So prove yourself to me, I’m the girl you claim. Why don’t you say the things that you said to me yesterday?”
At this point, we know that the boyfriend responds that Beyonce is making wild assumptions. We know this because Beyonce responds to that statement by saying,
“I know you say that I’m assuming things (but) something’s going down, that’s the way it seems. Shouldn’t be no reason why you’re acting strange. If nobody’s holding you back from me. ‘Cause I know how you usually do where you’re saying everything to me times two. Why can’t you just tell the truth if somebody’s there, then tell me who”
I’d argue that there’s a perfect explanation for the reason why he’s acting strange. It’s all because you’ve been screaming at him and accusing him of cheating since he picked up the phone. He’s probably not going to be too thrilled. Beyonce, after a brief lapse into REASONABLENESS is now back to FULLY UNREASONABLE.
Beyonce: “What is up with this? Tell the truth, who you with? How would you like it if I came over with my clique?”
Beyonce went from wondering why he didn’t answer the phone cordially enough to now threatening his fictional side girlfriend with an angry mob. Beyonce is acting VIOLENTLY UNREASONABLE.
Beyonce: “Don’t try and change it now, say you’ve gotta bounce, when two seconds ago, said you just got in the house.”
Well, Bey, I’m sure he really does have to bounce. Away from you. Far away from you. He’s just indicated he just got home from work literally two seconds before you called and then this whole mess got started. I’d want to bounce too. You not understanding his wishes to bounce are UNIMAGINABLY UNREASONABLE
Beyoncé: “It’s hard to believe that you are at home by yourself, when I just heard the voice of someone else. Just this question-why do you feel you have to lie? Getting caught up in your game, you cannot say my name.”
That voice that you heard, Beyonce? That’s a little voice inside your head that’s telling you that you’ve just completed the single craziest phone call in girlfriend history. All he did was say “Hello”. It’s a voice that’s begging you to stop, to take a breath, to calm all the way the fuck down. It’s a voice that’s telling you that you are UNEQUIVOCALLY, IMPOSSIBLY UNREASONABLE.
So there it is, Beyonce’s “Say my name” is the most terrifying use of the phrase since Walter White.
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