Gratitude and Staving off the Apocalypse
“Righteous men and scoundrels banded together to stop the Fall.
They burned witches — — they pounded nails
Then the 5th Horseman came and tipped the Scales”
-Tom Morello from “The 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse”
My wife is a psychologist, an artist and one of the most brilliant people I have ever met. She also had an unusual childhood, growing up in Jerusalem with a mother who survived the siege of 1948 and a father who immigrated to Israel from Egypt shortly thereafter. As a 7 year old she spent the 6 Day War in a bomb shelter with her mother and brothers while the battle for the city raged on above her head and her father was in the Sinai Desert fighting the same people who had once been his neighbors and childhood playmates. Needless to say my wife has a somewhat different perspective on human nature and how easy it is for the good in us to turn to evil. She is fond of saying that down deep, “there is a Nazi in all of us”, and for a long time I didn’t believe her. Now I think she is right.
It’s not Donald Trump’s fault. He is not the problem. He is simply the catalyst or maybe just the manifestation of the dark forces that lurk within each and every one of us and which have lately bubbled up to the surface in a frightening manner. It is a poisonous alchemy; this mix of anger, fear and tribalism that is ascending all over the world, and most particularly here in America as we decide who our next president will be.
Many in my “tribe” of upper middle class white liberals look on Trump supporters with disdain, condescension and contempt for both their intelligence and moral character. We may have some pity for their plight, but we have no compassion for the fear and righteous anger that they are expressing. We somehow believe that we are immune, or “too evolved” to fall prey to such primitive and tribal behavior. All the talk that I hear at the dinner parties I attend is either about “educating” the electorate or “fighting the evil” that is Trump. I think both of these strategies are not only misguided, but are based on flawed assumptions about who we are as human beings.
The truth is that we all have those buttons in our reptilian brains. We are all prone to be thrown into fear, anger and a desire to eliminate the “other”. History, psychologists and now neuroscientists have shown us repeatedly that anyone can get fooled, manipulated or simply driven by events into acting on these primal urges. In my opinion, the only real difference between those of us who feel “above” such feelings and those cheering for Trump is our circumstances. Perhaps by luck, perhaps due to hard work, educational opportunities and temperament, most of us feel safe and comfortable enough in our lives to keep our dark side well in check. I wonder how many of us would be able to stay “rational” and virtuous, if we were as stressed, sick, betrayed, struggling and just plain exhausted by life events as those we see on TV. I think we are all vulnerable, and to pretend otherwise is an exercise in egoism we should all strive to overcome. What we, and particularly those who have been caught up in the dark chaos of fear anger and violence, need more than anything is kindness and compassion. Because down deep there is no difference between “us” and “them”.
As I write these words, it appears that Trump may finally be in the process of self-destructing. His likelihood of winning is now down to a still uncomfortably high 20%, but whether he wins or loses, the suffering of those whose pain was transformed into ugly energy is still there, and that energy itself has the potential to reignite unless we all start to do our part to show some compassion and understanding.
Last night I was getting ready to go out and meet a friend I hadn’t seen for a while. I had rushed home from work, showered, dressed and was on my way out the door when I glanced out the kitchen window and saw that something was amiss. I went outside to investigate and saw a scene of chaos. The two dogs belonging to our downstairs tenant had gotten into our compost bin and run amok. Strewn across our backyard was a colorful and stinking cornucopia of organic trash; watermelon rinds, coffee grinds, avocado pits and a whole lot of chewed paper and torn up (but compostable) plastic bags.
My immediate reaction was one of anger and frustration. As I began to figure out how to clean up the mess, I started mentally composing a pointed e-mail to my tenant about controlling his dogs and general property maintenance. But then for some reason, probably the effect of the weekend meditation retreat I had just come from, I took a deep breath and paused. Slowly a feeling of gratitude, mixed with just a touch of chagrin, crept over me. Here I was, safe, secure and healthy with a big house in the Berkeley Hills, looking out over the Golden Gate Bridge on a beautiful soft summer evening and I suddenly realized how lucky I was. If the worst thing that happens all day is that you have to clean up after a dog and be 20 minutes late meeting a friend you should be grateful.
So the next time you are tempted to get angry about your circumstances or feel contempt and disdain for others who are angry about theirs, take a moment, be grateful for what you have and know that we are all in this together and that no one gets out of here alive. All we can do is to open our hearts and try to make the journey a little easier for each other.
