The fear of public speaking really is a fear of death
It’s demonstrable BS that people fear public speaking more than they fear death. But many will say that they are scared to death at the idea of facing a crowd, and, gulp … talking.
If you’re one of those people, what you’re afraid of is a figurative death, a social death, and it’s quite natural because human beings are social animals. We survive because of our social groups.
Your ability to survive and thrive depends on your standing within your group. The higher your social standing within your group, and connected groups, the greater your capacity to earn a living, find a mate, hold office, be included, invited, or do something stupid and get away with it
Your fear of speaking on stage is the fear of losing your social standing.
Because if you don’t “talk good” you risk damaging, even destroying your social standing.
As they say, “Better to shut up and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
And public speaking is worthy of your concern because it involves so much more than the words coming out of your mouth.
Your posture, expression, gestures, gaze, tone, pacing, voice, breath, personality; all these and more affect how people react to your speech.
And even if you get all of those working just right, you could forget your opening, and closing, lose your place, or tell a joke that falls flat.
And telling a bad joke? Well, comedians call that dying on stage.
But you can learn a lot from these very comedians, because, of course, they don’t really die.
They die like Kenny in South Park.
They resurrect themselves by telling another. And even if all jokes fall flat. They try again tomorrow.
And here’s what you can learn from that:
Despite twitter storms and social media bullying, most people are a lot more forgiving than you realise.
You can have a disastrous performance on stage and forget your entire speech, and that’s all that happened.
You gave a talk that bombed. So what?
People don’t gloat, in fact, most feel bad because they imagine themselves in your situation. They commiserate with you because your success means they can also do well.
As for the people who do snicker behind your back, they’re not worth your concern.
Your performance will soon be yesterday’s news anyway, and when your next speech succeeds, the story will be about how great your speech was. The people who saw you “die” will share your comeback, and talk about how much you’ve improved.
So, your fear is normal but have courage.
Imagine something you were afraid of doing when you started, like learning to drive.
Making a driving mistake could literally cost your life, but that didn’t stop you from mastering it. Did it?
Don’t let a figurative death stop you from mastering something that could help you succeed in your career, and fulfill your ambition.
Don’t cheat us of what you have to say because you’re afraid of a fleeting moment of embarrassment that won’t matter, and may not even happen.
Join an organization like Toastmasters to build your public speaking muscles before you need them.
And if you need help now because you feel unprepared to give an imminent and important speech, call me.
I might know someone who can help. (Smile)
