
The Self-Improvement Model Explained
Everybody wants to make their lives better, yet so few people actually do in a big way.
Am I one of those people that is on the right path, or am I just dreaming?
These were some of the questions I found myself pondering in the past few weeks. It’s so easy to brush them off and get right into the next thing to keep our mind distracted. Instead, I wanted answers. No, I demanded answers.
The Self-Improvement Model Made Simple
Self improvement seems weird to people. A lot of people think it’s bullshit or doesn’t do anything. How do you work on yourself? What are you working on? What’s the goal?
To me, it’s a philosophy. A system for how to live life. The stronger I make my system, the better.
There is one concept in self-improvement that one must master on a deep level if they wish to experience mind-blowing things in their life. Without a fundamental understanding of this concept, you’re pretty much in the dark when it comes to getting the things you really want.
It’s very common advice and has been said in a hundred different ways, and yet barely anyone has mastered it.
“Change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
“Your comfort zone is a beautiful place to be, but nothing ever grows there.”
The concept that these quotes refer to is the core of self-improvement. Getting out of your comfort zone will improve your life. The only thing is, they don’t explain why. They just sound motivational.
I created this model to explain why.

I hope this model is self-explanatory. The goal is simple, move positive things toward your comfort zone, and vice versa with negative things. You “change” because you become comfortable doing things the more often you do them. As you do more positive things, other positive things will be attracted to your life. Same thing happens with negative things.
This model doesn’t explain everything about self-improvement. We’ll get to the parts it doesn’t address later.
What Are The Things?
Things can be anything: objects, thoughts, activities, places, relationships.
Positive things are things that move you closer to what you want in life. There is a spectrum, some things are less positive than others, some things are less negative than others. The goal is to find the most positive things you can do in your life, and start doing them. Often, the more positive something is, the further it is from your comfort zone. This is why people talk so much about getting out of your comfort zone. However, there are highly negative things outside of your comfort zone as well.
Simply doing uncomfortable things doesn’t mean you will attract great things into your life.
If I want to become an actor, writing an embarrassing email about myself and sending it to my state’s senator probably won’t do much for me. It would definitely be uncomfortable though.
On a similar note, if I want to attract an amazing mate into my life, I’m gonna go on a limb and say that going to a party with a lot of heavy drug users in a bad neighborhood will not be the best use of my time. This would also be very uncomfortable.
However, if I want a great physique, hiring a personal trainer and going to the gym regularly will certainly help me get a great physique. Hiring a personal trainer may be uncomfortable, but it would objectively be a positive thing for me to do.
The best things I have attracted into my life came after I did highly uncomfortable things that I knew were 100% positive. It has never failed me, ever. That is why I love self-improvement.
Moving Things From One Zone To The Other
This is the hard part. This is the part that people don’t do. This is the part that separates the dreamers from the doers.
The faster you can pull positive things closer to your comfort zone, the faster you will manifest what you want in life.
The excitement zone sounds great in theory. It’s full of things that sound really awesome, interesting and… exciting! Yet, no one actually wants to do this stuff, especially not for the long term. Once the excitement wears off, you’re left with uneasiness, intimidation, frustration, and the unknown. This part of the excitement zone is what makes people jump right back into their comfort zone. They don’t give it enough time or energy to attract the great things into their life.
Then, they may give up on self-improvement entirely.
This is called self-sabotage.
What Is Self-Sabotage And Why Is It Evil?
Self-sabotage is the biggest thing stopping you from doing those amazing things that attract what you want to your life. Self-sabotage is a tricky little bastard that shows up at the worst of times and pesters you night and day.
I had a horrible encounter with self-sabotage recently that crushed me. Even after knowing about self-sabotage and how to combat it, it can still win sometimes.

The story begins with my startup, RotorScape. I had been trying to find a way to launch the business for eight months.
I lucked out and was introduced to the owners of one of the leading companies in a similar industry. They have mega amounts of cash and love to invest in new technology. After eight months of trying to figure out how to get my business model off the ground, I decided I would only continue if I got someone like them interested in a partnership. They had to be someone that could provide the massive amounts of capital and connections we needed.
It was a perfect match. By doing the right things, I attracted them into my life. I planned a meeting with them at their company’s headquarters, which was a 3 hour drive from me.
For the next month, I prepared day and night for the meeting. I stressed about every aspect of it and almost canceled a couple times out of nerves. I worked with my advisers to make sure I had something great to present to them. I even bought a plane ticket for someone that knew them personally and agreed to come to the meeting with my lead adviser and I. He planned to help us negotiate a great deal.
Two days before the meeting, a few weird things happened that threw me for a loop. The person I bought the plane ticket for that was supposed to come with us completely flaked. I went to the airport and walked around looking for him for over an hour before giving up and leaving. He didn’t get on the plane for some unknown reason.
Then, my other adviser called the next day to say he was uneasy about the meeting because of the other guy flaking. He also warned me that this company might have been looking to offer us their services and were probably not interested in making a financial investment. He thought it was in our best interest not to go. This happened the night before the meeting.
Feeling vulnerable, uneasy and full of doubts, I sent an email to the people we were planning to meet with to confirm the meeting was happening and ask what their goals for the meeting were. This was standard and appropriate. They responded in kind, but then I followed up with another email with the intention of figuring out if they would invest or not. This was absolutely not appropriate. I basically asked them if they were interested in investing in the company, even though we had not discussed this prior. They were caught off guard, and suggested that an investment was not in their interests at this time. I then cancelled the meeting, feeling like I just saved myself a bunch of time.
What The Hell Did I Just Do?
My response to them was out of line, and I knew better. Later that day, I was kicking myself. I would never text someone asking if they would consider being in a relationship two hours before going on our first date. That would be absurd. I knew better than that. Why did I do that here? I was looking for a reason not to go. Why?
What was I afraid of? Why did I pass up this amazing opportunity? Hell, even if they weren’t interested in investing, it would still have been amazing to get to meet them and see their facilities.
I can come up with endless reasons, but they all boil down to the same excuse. I was afraid of failing. That’s where self-sabotage comes in. Our bodies have evolved to keep us from dying. In our reptilian mind, failure = death.
We must watch out for self-sabotage. It will prevent us from making huge strides forward in life. What can we do about it?
Discipline Is Our Only Weapon
When it comes to self-improvement, discipline is our superpower. It is the fuel that pushes us to do uncomfortable and positive things that move us forward and attract great things into our lives.
It is also the only weapon we have that can defend against self-sabotage.
Why is discipline so important? Discipline gives you control over your actions. Not your friends, not your parents, not your reptilian brain, YOU are in control.
Using discipline, you can dodge the attacks from self-sabotage.
Discipline & Willpower Defined
Your discipline can get stronger or weaker, just like a muscle. I think of willpower as energy and discipline as the muscle that exerts willpower. Just as we cannot expend our energy indefinitely, we cannot expend our willpower indefinitely.
The stronger our muscles get, the more energy they can expend at one time, and the faster they recover. Willpower and discipline work the same way.
In the same way that you need to rest after a heavy work out, you may need to rest after exerting all of your willpower to avoid pizza or fast food at a social event. You might go home and binge watch TV or social media because you’re all worn out. A lot of people drink too much alcohol for this very reason. They use up all of their willpower at work and have little or none leftover when they get home. Then, they succumb to unhealthy pleasures and repeat this every day.
How Can Discipline Defend Against Self-Sabotage?
The essence of discipline is noticing an urge before taking action on the urge, then being able to apply the correct amount of willpower to stop or start the action. When it comes to self-sabotage, the first step is to notice it. The second step is to stop the action from happening. The stronger your discipline, the bigger advantage you will have.
The really challenging part of this is that the urge to self-sabotage will get stronger as the event comes closer. In my recent situation, I did a great job all the way until the night before the meeting.
I was well prepared and had actually caught myself from self-sabotaging in other ways during the month leading up to the meeting.
However, what counts is finishing the race. You get no points for getting inches from the finish line and then turning around and going home. All you have to do is cross the finish line while avoiding the giant self-sabotage monsters flying at you. In my case, this meant I had to ignore my doubts, not send the weird email, make the damn drive and show up.
How Do You Win Big At This Game?
Build discipline my friend. Make your discipline so strong that you can do anything. The only way to build your discipline is to figure out which positive things you want in your life, then figure out positive actions to help attract those things into your life, and then take action persistently over time.
Easy, right?
Start by getting honest with yourself. Once you know what you want, write down things that scare you but might also help you get those things. If it scares the living crap out of you, make a plan to do it in the future. Start with the less intimidating things and actually do them now. Start by doing one thing at a time.
You want to practice dealing with self-sabotage early and often. Fighting self-sabotage is how you grow your discipline. If you wait for that big huge moment when it really counts, you’ll lose by a mile. Start small.
If you stick with this practice over time, you’ll stop, look around, and see amazing things around you. These amazing things were things you probably never imagined would come into your life months or years before.
That’s what this is all about.
Don’t give up.
Please clap 👏 and share this post to help others understand this concept more clearly. It is something I still struggle with (clearly) but has helped me in so many ways.
How have you used discipline to get what you want?
How have you fell prey to self-sabotage?
Let me know in the comments!
