9 Signs YOUR SPOUSE may have been in the Ashley Madison Hack

  1. Your BitTorrent client keeps mysteriously uninstalling itself.
  2. All of your friends text “I’m sorry” but it’s not the day after your birthday.
  3. Whenever you turn on the news, your spouse turns off the TV and says that the two of you should “go out and spend some romantic time together.”
  4. Divorce lawyers that aren’t your aunt are sending you emails.
  5. Your spouse shares photos of every single good experience in your marriage with the caption “Just showing my love for the greatest man I’ve ever met, who will always be at my side.”
  6. He/she lets you have the remote before bed and doesn’t expect sex in return.
  7. Your spouse starts sweating whenever you open a spreadsheet.
  8. You mention that you were just checking in with Ashley, and your spouse’s face turns red until she remembers that that’s the name of your sister.
  9. He/she leaves a tearful voicemail just repeating “I made a huge mistake.” And when you call him/her back saying “Well, there’s always money in the banana stand,” he/she doesn’t laugh.

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