Seattle — Day 13: Spoken Silence

So I’ve been sitting in front of this computer screen for about 2 hours and nothing. I’ve been trying to figure out what I wanted to write about and share with you all, yet, emptiness. I was getting frustrated because there was nothing that was inspiring me like usual. There were no words that the Lord placed on my heart to share and to speak about. So I sat in silence for a while, trying to think things out. So I just prayed to Jesus — Lord what is your will for this blog post today? Will you inspire me or should I not post anything? After praying I was reminded of this amazing truth.

We are completely helpless without God. I’m completely helpless with God.

A little unconventional, but this blog post will be short, sweet and simple. I can’t do anything without Jesus. If there was ever a moment that you thought that I got to Amazon, Seattle, where I’m at by my own strength, just throw that thought out the window, because that’s not even what I believe. I’m here by grace and grace alone. I was a student that was undeclared with no major, had no internships prior to this one, had nothing on my resume to show that I was qualified for this position at Amazon as a software development engineering intern. I shouldn’t be here, because in my helplessness, it would have been fair and just for Him to not do anything for me, to not provide for me. Let’s make one thing clear. I don’t deserve anything, I don’t deserve this internship, I don’t deserve success in industry, I don’t deserve to be declared as a computer science major, I don’t even deserve to live. The same applies for you, and for the whole world. We deserve nothing, except death and eternal damnation. Yet, it was for freedom that Christ set us free (Galatians 5:1) and that He has given me, you, and us life, eternal life for those who are in Christ Jesus.

If you find yourself in a position where you think that you got to where you are in life by your own merit, and strength, please do not be fooled by this lie. It was Christ that sustained and upheld you, and lead you to where you are in life, all so that you may know Him all the more (Psalm 139). I think now is a good time to really reflect, and I mean really reflect. Turn off the music, put down the coffee (water if you’re like me), drop the phone, and just be real with Jesus. Have I been boasting about my accolades? Have I made my life about working through things with my own strength? Do we honestly think that we’re here where we are in life by our own power? I pray that this challenges you and humbles you beyond your own belief as it has with me.

For when we think that we are humble, more humble than before, thats when we’ve become more prideful than we were ever before.

So I’m here, writing a short blog post, because I didn’t get really inspired to be honest with you. There was nothing amazing that the Lord stirred my heart with today, and I think that’s unacceptable. We’re called, and commanded to stand in awe and to fear the Lord (Psalm 33:8). This isn’t a sacrifice guys, its obedience. We’re helpless without Him, and without daily captivation, we’re simply going to revert to living like our old selves. Please pray that I would be captivated and inspired. No, not for the sake of the blog, or writing, but for my own self. That I may find new revelations and inspiration of the word as I read my bible and pray, as I live life, and as I discover more of who Jesus is.

Peace be with you. The Holy Spirit can speak much more mightily than I can with words. I hope that He speaks truth, life, and power into you today. Amen.

Beauty for ashes
A garment of praise for my heaviness
Beauty for ashes
Take this heart of stone and make it Yours, Yours

I delight myself in the Richest of Fair
Trading all that I’ve had for all that is better
A garment of praise for my heaviness
You are the greatest taste
You’re the richest of fair