Dems: Drain The Swamp

Time out Pelosi

It’s no secret that the Democratic Party has been in trouble for some time. Even with Barack Obama in office, the senate and house have mostly been dominated by Republicans who only support partisan legislation, thereby misrepresenting a large block of their constituents. The Dems have been left out in the cold and it’s time for a change in leadership.

In order for the party to become revitalized, and it’s looking like the first order of business will be the ouster of minority leader Nancy Pelosi. She has served with honor and outspokenness, but her voice has become that of a toothless, high-minded whiner. Unlike her Republican counterpart Mitch McConnell, Pelosi hasn’t the tenacity to take charge and rally the troops.

Pelosi is the tip of the iceberg however. The Democrat Party’s brand sucks. So instead of bemoaning the partisan gridlock in Washington, the Dems need to embrace it, shore up the battlements and start winning.

Democrats know that politics are a dirty, scrummy business, and yet they choose not to play for fear of getting their hands dirty. They’ve gotten their asses kicked by aspiring to lofty ideals like “They go low — WE GO HIGH!” and failed bigly, resulting in the worst presidency in modern history with a majority in the house and senate.

It’s time for some badass Dems to step up to the plate with brass balls and guns blazing! Here are the steps the Dems could use to get back on top:

  1. Play by the new rules. Every time a Republican makes an outrageous claim, take the gloves off and wreak havoc on them with something even more absurd and false. Then, hit first the next time — and the next. Expose their old-school rascist, theocratic agenda and then shove the next generation’s agenda down their throat. Sure they’ll whine about first amendment rights, but remember that sour grapes make the best whine!
  2. Get ahead of the election cycle and use Super Pac bucks to groom a new generation of reps and senators with the energy to beat the opposition. Teach the most willful and learned hopefuls to become house and senate warriors for democracy and then step aside and let them eat the geezers.
  3. Take as much lobbyist money as possible to take down Citizens United.
  4. Use the press to leak any and all information that will bring down the enemy’s backward agenda.
  5. Stop Republican redistricting and gerrymandering loudly and obnoxiously and rally public support. The Bernie bros are waiting.
  6. Lastly, get organized and charge the opposition as a united front, using all of the dirty tricks of the Republican party and OWN IT! Let them be the pouty, whiny weaklings when you’ve taken them down and enjoy the victory.

The age of pussyfooting is long gone. Win or be crushed.