“Sayang,” I said, with a hint of a question, wondering if you were still there. You murmured. I smiled to myself—your voice alone brought happiness. “I’m sorry, but I’m tired. I’m going to sleep now, okay?”

“Good night, Sayang. I love you.” You replied.

I ended the call and put the phone down. Usually, I would toss and turn, wait a few hours until I could fall asleep. Storms were raging and chaos were flailing, always torturing my overthinking mind. But, ever since you came into my life, they stopped. I felt safe, I felt secure. I did not have to worry about everything. You calmed the storm in me.

“Good night, Sayang. I love you.”

Six words. Six simple words. Six simple words every night. The words aren’t special or extraordinary. I had them said to me before; by my parents or family, sometimes by my friends. But coming from you, six simple words became outstanding—phenomenal even. Every lovers in the world probably say it every night, but the six simple words came from your mouth to me and only me—it was our thing. Six simple words were all it took and you had me hooked.

That night, everything was usual and in place.

“Good night, Sayang. I love you.”

What was unusual and not in place was the next morning. Because the next morning, you were gone. The next morning, you didn’t love me anymore.

I didn’t know on that cold December night, “Good night” meant “Good bye.” I didn’t know under that starless midnight, “I love you” meant “I’m leaving you.” I didn’t know across your shaky voice, “Sayang” was turning into “stranger.” I didn’t know when, I didn’t know how, I didn’t know why.

Every night since, I couldn’t close my eyes—let alone fall asleep. Every night since, the storms grew stronger and the chaos wilder; no one can put it to rest. Every night since, I have been lost in the labyrinth of your enigmatic absence. Every night since, I could not put my phone down, thinking perhaps a text from you was arriving. Every night since, I kept waiting for the six simple words to be coming out from your mouth to me again—but they never came. Every night ever since, my heart has been broken and shattered into pieces, and I don’t know how to be safe and secure and whole again.

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