Time to kill the “good” girl
I’m a person who strives to be great at a lot of things, this is just a part of who I am. It’s a great personality trait and it has pushed me forward to accomplish a great deal of things and also helped me overcome fear that’s been standing in the way for being able to do what I love.
However, I’ve also spend way to much time trying to be good for all the wrong reasons. Stressing over things and pushing myself to hard in ways that really doesn’t benefit me at all. I’ve been one of all those “good” girls but I’m trying to kill that part of me now.
Let me define what I mean with a ”good” girl.
Being a good girl is about trying to live up to all the expectation the society has of what a girl should be. She should be cute and smart, thin, well dressed and funny. Honestly she should be good at pretty much everything; be a great cook, have good grades, perform well at work, be the perfect girlfriend and still have time to exercise 5 times a week while acing all those other things. What she shouldn’t do is to take up to much space and to tell the world that she’s great at these things. No bragging allowed.
The problem isn’t about being any of these things, the problem is if you do it for someone else. Instead you should focus on what makes you happy and just go for it.
Letting go of the feeling of wanting to please others aren’t something that you just do at a blink of an eye after being brought up in a world that expect certain things from you. My own journey has been going on for some time now but by talking more openly about it and surrounding myself with strong and inspiring women I’ve become more aware of all the things I’ve done and still do for other people.
For me, this is the year to be badass and give less of a fuck of what other people think of me. I want to say yes to more things that are fun and challenges me and say no to things that take up unnecessary time and that I simply don’t care that much about.
Some of the things on my YES-list:
- Explore more vegan food (because it’s better for me and everyone else).
- Lifting more and heavier weights with my girl crew from the gym.
- Travel more by myself to get to know myself even better.
- Get a tattoo because I’ve been wanting one for many years now and finally have a good idea about what to do.
- Dye my hair pink again.
- Work less but work smarter.
- Brag more about things I’m proud of.
- Ugly dancing in public.
- Drink more prosecco with people I love while discussing everything from how rainbows works to feminism and bucket lists.
- Writing and daring to press the publish button. This is just the start, it will take some time for me to find my voice and a good writing structure but I’m excited about the process.
One last thing, when I write about doing things for yourself I don’t mean that you should be ruthless and step on other people to get what you want. Be kind to people but don’t forget to be kind to yourself as well.