Don’t Be That Negative Person
Have you ever started something new only to stop because of the Negative Nancys? Are you a health conscious person but those near and dear are constantly bashing what you’re about?
You are not alone!
I have been hard core involved in the fitness/health and wellness world for going on five years and I STILL deal with negative critics. I will tell you from experience, it does get easier as time goes on. STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!! I can assure you you will build up a tolerance for these comments and actually grow fond of them.
BUT…. you will find there are always those whose words sting the worst.
I was recently with family and had the luxury of this experience. It upset me on every level because I let it; my guard was down and it stung.
Why are people so hurtful? Well, were you not once the same way? Are you still? I know I judged others before I understood them.
I have learned we tend to criticize and judge when we don’t understand.
Why do they do that?
Why is that better?
How can they do it?
Why do they like it?
I wonder what it’s like?
I WISH I COULD DO THAT.
These are the typical thoughts that run through our head when we envy something is it not?
BOOM: envy.
Stop and think about it. You are making a CHANGE in your life. Many people DREAM of change. You however had the courage to take the leap and act. Kudos to you!
Nursing has helped my perception of judging others; I don’t understand everyone’s way of life, especially now with a different form of clientèle. Each and everyday I am blessed with the opportunity to learn from my patients and my peers. If we open our eyes to the world we will be blessed with opportunity.
Sadly enough, not everyone sees it this way. As crazy as it sounds, some enjoy judging people because it helps them boost their self-esteem and feel better about themselves. Does someone come to mind???
How rude right!?
So what do you do when you are faced with a situation when someone blatantly bashes your efforts?
You show respect, even if their words sting like a thousand bees.
It’s hard to do yes, but you will grow as a person I promise. Like I mentioned earlier, I was recently put in a hurtful situation. I smiled, ordered my meal, and kept my mouth shut regarding the issue. Since then, I do not bring up my health endeavors with these people anymore. Another lesson I have learned over the years: some will follow, some will go silent, and some will always bash.
Every day we pick and choose our battles. I’m NOT going to argue with someone about why I do what I do. But if you ask my kindly with genuine interest I would love to tell you about it. Being respectful goes both ways.
So rather than taking everyone’s comments to heart, I implore you to grow! GROW LIKE A WEED because “Negative people, They’re like human black holes which suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you, you feel exhausted, and you may also start to feel depressed too” (Pratt). Don’t go into that vortex!!!
What do you do when the comments start???
- Smile and don’t say anything. Remain detached and don’t allow yourself to get involved, this is what they want (don’t get sucked into the black hole). Pratt, author of How to Deal With Negative People, says it perfect:
It’s the emotions that these negative people stir up in you that you need to learn to distance yourself from. Try just observing the whole scene. Say to yourself, “what a shame this person is so unhappy. Maybe some of my positive energy will rub off on her. If not, her unhappiness has nothing to do with me.”
2. Ask them to tell you something positive about them or their day. This will make them realize how negative they are being and gives you an opportunity to share your appreciation of your new ways and why YOU’RE HAPPY.
3. Their unhappiness is not your fault and you do NOT have to fix their issues. Nor do you have to feel guilty for them. If someones needs to change and wants it bad enough they will find a way to make it happen.A number of things helped me change. My most recent change was because of Timothy Ferriss and his book, The 4-Hour Workweek: “If you had a gun to your head and had to stop doing 4/5 of different time consuming activities, what would you remove?”
4. Always, always, always remain enthusiastic! Let your energy radiate the room!!!
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams……..your beliefs either drive you or limit you don’t limit yourself to what is considered “normal”. Don’t limit yourself or change just so people like you. Be yourself, go after what makes your HEART sing and DANCE and the right people will love the real YOU!!!!” (Rainville).
I wish upon you all the attitude of my friend Alexandra (yes that’s here in Oxygen magazine!),

“I seriously love when people say that it’s not the real me in my before and after pictures. That it can’t be true. That my waist and butt have been photoshopped. Or that it’s not fair to post fake transformations, for those who work their a$$es off. It’s probably THE best COMPLIMENTS you can give me. THANK YOU!!!!!!!”
Always keep in mind why you are your journey. Don’t let others suck you into the dark hole of negativity. And don’t judge others because you don’t appreciate it when others judge you. Doing these three easy peasy things will keep you on track and get you to your finish line.
WARNING: you will be a new person when you get there!
I will leave you now with one of my favorite quotes, “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect” — Mark Twain.
References
Rainville-Barzey, A. (n.d.). Facebook Quote [Online interview].
Ferriss, T. (2007). The 4-hour workweek: Escape 9–5, live anywhere, and join the new rich. New York: Crown.
Pratt, C. (n.d.). How To Deal With Negative People — 10 Strategies. Retrieved July 15, 2015.
