If I Don’t Make It Out Alive…
A Letter In Case Of Unexpected Death
Hi Glenn,
As you know, I’m about to go in for surgery. If I don’t make it out, there’s a few things I’d like you to know, and if would be so kind as to share my message with those others (you’d know who), I would deeply appreciate it.
Thanks buddy. You’ve been my best friend, the best of friends, truly. It’s been a magical, wonderful life. I’ve been through some bad shit, but none of that matters now, what matters is that we had one hell of a great time together. We all did. I am who I am because of the multitude of amazing people who carried me, taught me, loved me, held me, challenged me. And I love each and every one of you.
To the women in my life, thank you. I loved you all very deeply, and your love and companionship made it all worth it. If I could wish for one thing, it would be to remember me for my moments of great kindness and tenderness, and forgive me for my moments of insecurity and anger.
To my family. Fuck, I hope you guys are okay. It’s okay to feel sad right now. But understand that you are the most amazing people. The best. I want you to be happy, to live fulfilled lives, to go on and be the best you can be. And love each other. It’s been a hard decade on all of us. I love all of you, please figure out the bad shit between you, have the difficult conversations, take the steps year-in and year-out to build the relationships that make life worth it.
In the end, underneath all the bullshit, underneath all the hurt, underneath all the mistakes I couldn’t fix… you know what, i’m really really happy. I’m unreasonably crazily happy. And I want you all to be as crazily, unreasonably happy as I am. Don’t think of me as someone you lost. Don’t think of me as gone. Think of me as a magnificent roman candle exploding across the sky, filling the night with love and joy.
I wasn’t here to be understood, I was here to be experienced. I wasn’t here to impress you. I was here to party with you. You can’t save the world in a bad mood!
I made it! What an incredible life! I’d do it all over again and I wouldn’t change a thing!
I love you all, love yourselves as much as I love you. Fare well!
